Danny Smith, the writer for the "Family Guy" episode "Lois Comes Out of Her Shell," deserves an Emmy for successfully turning Lois Griffin's mid-life crisis into a sweet, hilarious good time. It's an instant classic, not just because of Lois' aging female angst, but because the program featured Johnny Depp, a psychotic turtle, and a big thrill for Justin Bieber haters.
Sagging boobs and cheap pickles
The Griffins throw Lois a birthday party, which left the guest-of-honor running off in tears, mostly due to her buffoon of a husband, Peter, and his horrid poem that mocked Lois' sagging breasts and called her a "reliable old plow horse."
Peter's pathetic attempts of making amends with Lois by setting up a "fake grocery store" with sale prices like 39 cents pickles ended badly, as the faux walls and cardboard cut-out stock boy collapsed to the floor, leaving poor Lois feeling worse.
Mini skirts, Frisbee, and naughty laundry
Lois shocks the family with her mid-life antics of dressing in mini-skirts and Uggs, and baring her midriff, with a sudden desire to play Frisbee, hit all the "insane parties," and have sex on "clean, folded laundry."
"Mom is acting and dressing like a 20-year-old," says Meg, while son Chris asks Peter, "Do we have to go and get a new mom now?"
Mama catches Bieber fever
When a TV news broadcast shows frenzied fans outside of a Justin Bieber concert, it's no surprise to see a drooling Lois Griffin, front and center. Mrs. G. flashed her boobs to a security guard and got backstage to meet The Biebs. This turned into a "Mrs. Robinson" scenario with a confused singing heartthrob, who asked Lois if she knew his mom, to which she responded "just take off your pants."
Lois's lusty teen-like behavior ended abruptly as Peter suddenly appeared, punched Justin Bieber in the face, leaving him bleeding and unconscious, then (in typical "Family Guy" absurdity) as the audience calls for an encore, Peter replaces the young crooner with a video of a singing, Bieber-wig sporting Conway Twitty.
Lois explained to Peter that the whole mid-life mess started because she figured he wanted a "young, hot wife," but Peter said, "I thought I did, but after you spend an hour with 'em, you want to blow your brains out! I want a smart, sexy, beautiful, middle-aged companion. I want the real Lois. My Lois." Awww, how adorable. Too bad it didn't last. When Peter found out she was actually 43, he kicked Lois out of the house!
Turtles and Scissorhands gone bad
Meanwhile, Stewie brings home a new friend, Sheldon the Turtle: "a gentle soul, wouldn't hurt anybody." Well, little Sheldon turned into a knife-/blow torch-wielding demon seed, decapitating both Stewie's beloved Rupert the teddy bear and an unknown stranger, along with really ticking off Brian by "replacing Jack Daniels with flat Diet Coke."
There was also a brief appearance by Johnny Depp as his "Edward Scissorhands" character, who took a job as a babysitter with fatal results.
"Lois Comes out of her Shell" was awesome, with just the right amount of warped insanity, humor, pop-culture references and warmth to earn a spot in the "best of" "Family Guy" place of honor.
- Arts & Entertainment
- Lois Griffin
- Justin Bieber