Nicole Scherzinger has admitted she struggled with an eating disorder while she was in the Pussycat Dolls.
In a new interview for VH1's "Behind the Music," the former U.S. "X Factor" judge opened up about her fight with bulimia, which lasted for eight years.
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"I did it every day for, like, years," Nicole said, per MTV.com. "Every time I had a second to be alone, I was doing something to myself. You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I'd try to hide those. I think the girls could tell.
The singer said she went through a time where she was brutal on herself as she struggled with the disease.
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"I just hated myself," she added, noting all this happened while she was in the Pussycat Dolls. "I hated myself. I really was so disgusted with myself and so embarrassed. I felt so alone. I was in a group, and I never felt so alone in my life."
Nicole said she never opened up about having bulimia because she didn't want to hurt anyone.
"It's embarrassing. I never spoke about it. Like I said, I never want to play a victim, and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart, you know. I guess it was like my addiction, right? I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction," she said. "It's like when I got offstage, I was on this high, and I'd come back to my room and I'd be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction."
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Nicole is currently serving as a judge on the UK edition of "The X Factor." She is coaching the male singers this season on the show.
Her episode of "Behind The Music" airs Sunday at 9 /8c on VH1.
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