When the gang lacked inspiration for the Chevy account, Jim Cutler (played by Harry Hamlin, who, by the way, we never dreamed would be a "Mad Men" regular) called in his very own Dr. Feelgood to inject some kind of super drug into everyone's gluteus. Actually, the good doc dubbed his concoction a "complex vitamin super dose," but he did ask Don (Jon Hamm) if he had a heart condition before he administered the mystery elixir. When he asked Roger Sterling (John Slattery) the same question and Sterling revealed that, yes, actually, he did have heart problems, the doc said, "It doesn't matter."
The result was an office full of tripped-out ad execs and copywriters who spent a lost weekend dreaming up gibberish copy in which the word Chevy was even spelled wrong. Yes, this is the "Mad Men" brain on drugs.
The episode was by far the weirdest in six seasons of the show -- even trippier than Roger's LSD episode -- but it did produce some memorable lines, some of them even from the characters who weren't on the receiving end of Dr. Evil's syringe.
Ken Cosgrove (Aaron Staton) started the episode behind the wheel of a Chevy Impala, blindfolded by the crazed auto execs as he drove. Sure the high speed joyride ended with a crash (what'd you expect?), but that didn't stop Cosgrove from getting the scene of the night (even if Chevy didn't like his work).
"It's my job!" he chanted as he busted into a cane-assisted tap dance. "It's my job to take them to dinner at 80 miles per hour. It's my job to stop a mile before the restaurant so they can have five pounds of crab legs and three bottle so beer apiece, and then go get prime rib. It's my job to go hunting so they can fire off their guns an inch from my ear and laugh when I get startled, because it's my job!"
Ken's impromptu jig turned into the best "Mad Men" gif of the season. Or maybe ever.
In the same scene, a drug-fueled Don made it clear that he must be in the room with Chevy's executives: "The timbre of my voice is as important as the content. I don't know whether I'll be forceful or submissive, but I must be there in the flesh!" he demanded. (Speaking of voice timbre, Jon Hamm narrated several commercials during this episode.)
In a high-speed brainstorming session, Peggy and the boys were tossing out Chevy slogans. Stan (Jay Ferguson) had 666 of them, including, "Dad, I need the car. I have a date; Dad, everybody at school has a car but me; Dad, I can only go to college if I have a car." But a drug-free Ginsburg was a buzz kill with this one: "Dad, I could be dying in Vietnam. Don't you want me to have a car?"
Meanwhile, Betty Draper (January Jones) was back -- thin, blonde, and angry -- after an intruder invaded her ex-husband's Park Avenue pad and pretended to be her kids' long lost black grandma as she pilfered the place. Ever the loving mom, Bets spewed this line when 14-year-old Sally (Kiernan Shipka) told her she earned her own money for a miniskirt: "On what street corner?"
Bobby's line, "Are we negroes?" was classic Bobby Draper -- the kid isn't the sharpest pencil in the box -- but it was Sally's line to her dad that rang the most true, when she explained to him why she was temporarily bamboozled by the burglarizing granny: "She said she knew you. I asked her everything I know, and she had an answer for everything. And then I realized I don't know anything about you."
Of course, in the end, Don had the last word. He usually does, even when he gives ex-mistress Sylvia Rosen the silent treatment during what had to be the longest elevator ride in television history. Referencing his hungover staff after their lost weekend, he said, "Every time we get a car, this place turns into a w----house."
Can't they just get the Heinz account back? Because a bean ballet looks really good about now.
"Mad Men" airs on Sundays at 10 PM ET on AMC.
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