Narrowing this week's heinous people down to five was a true challenge. We couldn't even include Abby Lee Miller throwing a chair on "Dance Moms," Buddy from "Cake Boss" trying to set the transgender movement back by insulting our beloved "Drag Race" alum Carmen Carrera (mostly because the worst of it was online), Ramona from "The Real Housewives of New York City" interrupting a fight of her own design in order to talk about getting her nails done, or Slade acting even grosser than usual about the possibility of marrying Gretchen on "Real Housewives of Orange County." Here's who did make our list:
Barbie ("Hell's Kitchen")
Either wash dishes or don't wash dishes, but do not wake people up by storming around the house, slamming around, huffing and puffing that you are stuck doing dishes at, like, the crack of dawn. And then, no matter what, do not be more concerned about Gordon Ramsay calling you a sexy bitch then you are about the terrible food you are preparing. Also, you are not a sexy bitch. Bitch, maybe. Sexy, not at all.
Karen ("Don't Be Tardy for the Wedding")
She threw a grand hissy fit during the reception about not being able to use the bathrooms in the house when she had access to the most fabulous Porta-Johns we've ever seen in our life. Also, she told the groom to screw off, which earned her an eviction from her own daughter's wedding. Oh, and that was after she called her daughter an ungrateful bitch.
Kalon ("The Bachelorette")
Admitted that he was only on the show out of boredom, then called Emily's kid baggage "again." And instead of doing the smart thing and apologizing or denying it, he just kept digging himself deeper into a hole with the guys and with Emily. We'd be proud of him for owning his actions if he weren't so blatantly trying to cast himself in the villain role for his "Bachelor Pad" stint.
Debra/Farrah ("Teen Mom")
While not their normal overdramatic screaming matches, they were both pretty horrific without any knife wielding. Farrah waited until the last possible minute (after she'd told everyone else) to tell her mother she was taking her kid with her on a big move, instead of communicating like an adult. Then she gleefully regaled her toddler daughter with tales of all the places she used to have sex. And Debra whined and complained and made passive aggressive comments (about how vinegary "Farrah" wine was) instead of trying to have an adult conversation. What a family.
Marcel and Curtis ("Pregnant in Heels")
These two over-sexed dudes were just disgusting. Curtis quaintly turned conversation about a C-section into a discussion about anal sex. Then he looked a little too excited about her being gagged (while practically nine months pregnant). And then Marcel was just so horny that he practically molested his wife during a public yoga class and kept pawing at her in the most awkward ways. May we never be subjected to seeing someone's "babymoon" again.
Getting kicked out of your own child's wedding after telling off the groom is pretty bad, and making your daughter look for your shoes on her wedding day is so not cool. It takes a truly horrible, selfish woman to make our bewigged Atlanta housewife look saintly in comparison.
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