Colby is not a spy. Now, all of you who didn"t watch the episode but who have worried yourself raw over the summer can take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy the ride.
Okay, so in this Numb3rs season opener and series premiere for Television Without Pity, we are anxiously dealing with last year"s revelation that Colby -- the solid, ex-military agent who knows the answers to all things frat-boy -- is a lousy, dirty, good-for-nothing spy. Who runs. Each FBIer close to Colby deals with this issue in their own way. David gets extra-angry during busts, Don rewatches the Colby interrogation tape again and again and again, and Megan logs a lot of time with Larry at the monastery. I also think she"s gone on a hunger strike until Colby comes in from the cold, but that"s just my personal observation. Meanwhile, Charlie -- in that selfish way of his -- deals with the Colby issue by immersing himself in teaching and enjoying it.
However each of these characters wants to deal with Colby"s betrayal, they are forced to confront Colby proper when Colby and Carter escape from a prison transport and go on the lam for a while. While the FBI is combing the city for them, Colby calls Charlie in order to talk to Don to tell him that he"s not really a spy. He"s a pretend spy. That is, Counterintelligence tapped him to spy on Carter way back when Carter approached Colby in Quantico. So he"s sort of a spy, but not in the bad, treason-y way. Don isn"t sure if he should believe him but decides to follow up on Colby"s info by locating his handler. Who is now dead. And, judging by Megan"s and David"s reactions, very whiffy.
There"s a whole lotta math being flung around in this episode, but what it boils down to is finding a Chinese ship before it hits international waters and saving Agent Colby. While on said ship, Colby isn"t quite having a Kathie Lee Gifford Carnival Cruise. I mean, he"s getting injections, but they are hardly geared toward filling in laugh lines and plumping his lips into a provocative pout. Instead, Mason Lancer -- played by Val Kilmer in this surprisingly brief role -- is filling Colby full of all sorts of bad things, while interrogating him. All Mason Lancer really cares about is learning whether or not anyone has discovered that he, as special assistant to the Deputy Attorney General, is really, really evil and has been spying for the Chinese since birth. Luckily, Don and his crew figure it out just in time, send all sorts of flying and sailing vessels, and board the Chinese boat. Unfortunately, Mason Lancer -- there"s just something about that name that requires you to say it in full -- has decided to dispense with Colby finally and totally by plunging (it"s really more of a prick, but "plunge" is much more interesting) a syringe into his chest and pumping his heart full of potassium chloride. The good ol" KCl stops his heart, which David pounds on while yelling at Colby to WAKE UP AND LOOK AT HIM! We fade to black and come back with Colby in the hospital, alive but asleep. Megan and David stand outside his room with David still struggling with who Colby really is.
I tell ya, it"s a heart-stopping episode. Heh.