Whole lotta Sugar Daddy
Updated 2000-11-25 16:00:00
Boys locker room. Sugar Daddy is standing at his locker sniffing a suit in a dry cleaning bag. When Josh comes over and starts taking off his clothes, Sugar asks Josh if he thinks the suit smells funky. Josh feels that the suit indeed does smell funky. Sugar starts ranting about wearing a smelly suit to the sports banquet tomorrow and how bad the banquet is going to be without Josh there. Josh reminds Sugar that he's suspended from the team due to the whole drug fiasco. Sugar isn't looking forward to speaking in public on Josh's behalf. "Last year I was drippin' with sweat," says Sugar. "I practically shorted the microphone." Josh tells Sugar to forget all about that, "this year, you're standing in for me!" Whatever. So for some reason, Sugar is newly inspired to speak in public because it's all about Josh. Just as Josh reminds him to bring him back some spicy chicken wings, Sugar's suit rips in the back. Ah, I guess these promos were right all week when they promised us an episode all about eating disorders. All we need now is for Brooke to relapse.
Speak of the devil. Brooke gets some things out of her locker at the end of the day. The hallway is empty, and Brooke bends down to pick up an old flyer for her campaign and sees that someone has written "Hypocritical Bitch!" in lipstick next to her picture. She swallows whatever feelings she has over this and puts the offending flyer in her messenger bag. On her way out of the building, she runs into Sugar Daddy, who is in the process of throwing out the ripped suit. He quickly covers for himself by explaining that the suit is "too Regis." He also tells her that he's going to bail on the banquet. Okay, we get it. Sugar is feeling too fat to speak in public. "Can I ask you something?" says Sugar to a departing Brooke. "You know that place you went to where they helped you with your weight?" "It's called an eating disorder clinic," says Brooke tartly. "Well, I was looking for a place that would put me on a healthy crash diet," says Sugar. "The clinic's not about dieting," says Brooke. "Listen to me. You have to get beyond the shame and get support. No man is an island, that is the first thing they teach you." Sugar is all, can they really help someone like me? Brooke is like, "I'm a completely different person." Sugar tells her his dream of being able to wear a pair of pants that doesn't have an elastic waistband. Brooke promises to call him later with the number.
The palace kitchen. Brooke is gathering her things for school while Sam eats breakfast. Sam is wearing a baby blue turtleneck under something I can only describe as a Swedish leisure suit. Seriously, she looks like a member of some Polish boy band. It's black and it zips up in the front. Meanwhile, Brooke is wearing a very Gwyneth-looking wine-colored top which matches the wine-colored stain on the walls of the palace kitchen. She asks Sam if she can tag along with her when she goes to visit Harrison in the hospital, because she doesn't want to go alone. "Hospital-phobic?" asks Sam, totally forgetting the shenanigans of last week in which Brooke, in the debate with the entire student body in attendance, totally accused Harrison of doing drugs, to which Harrison replied that he in fact had leukemia, making Brooke look and feel like ***** in front of the entire school. No, Sam can't imagine why Brooke might feel odd about going to Harrison's bedside. "I don't know if, uh, Harrison would want to see me," says Brooke. "Brooke?" says Sam, her eyes heavenward and a sneer on her lips. "I think Harrison's got bigger things on his mind than your student council race." Anyway, you know how there are those synthesizers and you can switch it to the sound of just about any instrument like Steel Drum or Tuba? And then there are these other more nebulous options like "Voice of Angels" or "Waterfall"? I swear to God, I think that there is an option on one of the more advanced machines entitled "Anorexia Nervosa." It's a very high-pitched tone and only dogs can hear it, but someone is playing a series of arpeggios in A-sharp minor with it while Brooke is eating Life Cereal straight out of the box.