Contamination
Updated 2009-01-09 09:09:01
This show starts as it inexplicably always does, which is with sweaty people rolling around while other sweaty people work out. This week Pete and Violet roll whilst Naomi and Addison work out. Addison confesses that she misses SWAT, but she refuses to call him. Elsewhere, Pete wants to talk about it, but Violet doesn't. She's a therapist, all she does is talk. If I were Pete I would point out that she is not a very busy therapist and maybe can pencil him in, but then I probably wouldn't get to roll around with her anymore.
Naomi is helping Wyatt impregnate his high-risk post-chemo patient. The patient just had a failed pregnancy due to diminished blood supply to the ovarian tissue. She had already painted the nursery and is pretty upset by the miscarriage. I personally prefer the tradition of doing absolutely nothing to your house and buying nothing until a happy healthy baby shows up in your arms. It's less traumatic if things go awry. Of course that is how my cousin ended up carrying her kid around in a laundry basket for three weeks before finally getting to a store. So it has its own traumas. Naomi suggests that although her treatment failed, she knows a doctor who might be able to implant a fertilized egg closer to a blood supply. The patient looks thrilled at the new prospect, but Naomi warns that she still has to ask. I wonder how Addison will respond? First anger, then resignation, then success? You think? Gah, this show and its weekly dramas are far too predictable! I say that and then watch, this week Addison will be abducted by a gang of multi-cultural teenage mariachi mimes who force her to silently re-enact scenes from "Our Town" while eating copious amounts of bi bim bop and Tang and rendering her unable to help the patient. That wouldn't be predictable. Although I did just predict it.
Dell's kid is at the office. There is really not more to say about that. Cooper, as the only doctor in the practice who seems to see patients regularly, greets a long lost family in the waiting room. The mother took the family to Switzerland for some experimental autism treatments for her eldest son. But her middle son caught a bug on the plane and she brought him in. Cooper takes a gander at the kid and starts looking very concerned.
Naomi begs Addison to help her patient. Addison is angry about the suggestion that she help Wyatt's patient. Their conversation is interrupted by Cooper, who announces that they have to shut the doors to the clinic because his patient has the measles. The kid was in the waiting room for half an hour and exposed pregnant women and the elderly to the disease. Awesome! The staff swings into action making sure that everyone who was exposed to the virus has been vaccinated. Some random pregnant woman asks to be vaccinated now so she can make her lunch date. Addison rolls her eyes and tells her no. Heh. Meanwhile Sam heads off to call the County Health Department. He is prepared for the worst, but for some as-yet unexplained reason is excited about the brawl.
Cooper and the mother of the kid with measles engage in a lively debate about the links between autism and vaccines. There isn't one. But the mother refuses to immunize her youngest child against the measles because she believes there is. Cooper can't force her, but he really really wants to. As Cooper swallows his exasperation, he leaves the room and runs into Dell. Dell can't reach his kid's mom to find out whether or not she's been vaccinated. Should he give her the shot as a precaution? Cooper says to hold off because they have 24-hours and can do it later if necessary. In the conference room all the doctors are frantically going through charts looking for vaccination records. What better time for all of them to voice their pro-vaccine opinions to each other? And hey why not have Sam and Cooper give the American Academy of Pediatrics and the CDC's opinions on vaccines as well? You thought you were watching a soap, no way -- it's an afterschool special! All the doctors are pro-vaccine and so are all the medical institutions. There is no documented link between vaccines and autism. Vaccines and lollipops, yes. Autism, no. Dell rushes in with measles mom's trash. Turns out she paid a visit to the coffeeshop in Charlotte's clinic! You knew that was going to happen. You know you did. Someone has to tell Charlotte. Bet you'll never guess who goes!
Cooper (shocking, I know. Why not send the ex-boyfriend?) heads off to tell Charlotte that her practice has been exposed to the measles. In the waiting room he runs into Sheldon the Impotent who decides to introduce himself to Cooper. Their awkward convo is interrupted by Charlotte's arrival on the scene. When Cooper tells her about the exposure, she is surprisingly unhappy and blames him. She is just so sweet! Why isn't Cooper back in her arms yet?
Mid-measles outbreak Addison and Wyatt decide to powwow over the patient. Wyatt tries to convince her to do it. He offers her neutral territory and as much money as she wants. Addison refuses to just cut and run, because her patients get her all the way through from conception to birth and they can probably take her to prom if they schedule it in advance. Wyatt's okay with that. He just wants Addison to agree to do the surgery. He leaves her with the chart. It's hard to tell whether he sincerely wants this patient to conceive or whether he just wants the glory for the medical journals. Addison is still in angry refusal phase, but now that she has the chart she will undoubtedly reluctantly agree within the next twenty minutes. Also, her shirt looks like it's covered in blood splatters, which is probably slightly off-putting on a surgeon. Although it probably wouldn't be anymore appealing on a fry cook or a barber. Okay maybe it's just ugly.
I guess the crisis is over because Violet and her timid half smile appear to be leaving. As she giggles past Cooper, he can't help but ask her about her sex life. He still doesn't believe it's Pete. She offers to prove it to him. Seconds later Cooper goes into Pete's office and demands he lift his shirt. For some reason Pete complies and upon seeing his tattoo (I was thinking hickey, but I guess I'm closer to high school than the writers) Cooper knows it's true. And he is not pleased about it. He is steamed because Violet's a relationship junkie and Pete is a not relationship junkie. Cooper is convinced one of them will end up having to leave the practice. I hope both of them have to leave the practice and we can get new doctors with, say, personalities to replace them. Or maybe Amy Brenneman and Tim Daly can come back as new doctors with better characters, lines, and plots. Violet swears it's just sex, but Cooper can't listen.
Addison agrees to do the surgery. Naomi is thrilled until Addison tells her the conditions. Naomi can't do any more work with Wyatt after this. Naomi calls her an extortionist, but agrees. I cannot remember why we are supposed to hate Wyatt and why he is such a Baddy McBad. Really. No idea.
Sam and Dell are just about to re-file the immunization records when the County Health official shows up. Obviously she is black and hot and Sam starts giggling. So much for fixing for a fight. As she checks off things on her clipboard and asks about conformation with county guidelines and interviewing all employees, Sam starts to get more nervous. Nervous and flirty are equally unwatchable in my opinion, but I'll do what I can.
The measles family is at the hospital. I guess they had gone home, but the kid worsened and now they are in the emergency room with Cooper. The kid doesn't seem to be in an isolation room. The kid is really sick and the mother doesn't understand. C'mon lady they created a vaccine for a reason! Cooper tells her about all the possible complications including encephalitis and pneumonia. She looks concerned as her son coughs. Oh god, please don't kill the kid just so we all know to vaccinate. I can't watch children dying. Even fictional children on middling television shows. I can't! I start crying and then get embarrassed because the show is so crappy yet still making me cry. Dammit don't kill the kid! I promise to vaccinate. I do! As her child worsens, Cooper tells the mother that she might want to call the dad over from Switzerland. He then begs her to reconsider vaccinating her youngest child against measles. She refuses. She is completely convinced that vaccinations caused her son's autism and she won't risk it. Cooper doesn't push it, but you can tell he wants to. Ah man, that kid is toast. I better go get the Kleenex.
The doctors are all back at work and cursing the unvaccinated. Sam thinks Cooper should call Family Services and report the mother for child abuse for refusing to vaccinate despite imminent harm. Cooper and Dell agree, but Violet and then Pete disagree. Cooper doesn't care what Pete thinks, he is sleeping with Violet and obligated to agree with her. Everyone stops what they are doing to stare at Cooper. Pete tells everyone to mind their own business. As if! The County health official calls Sam out for his lack of Laminair flow, procedures and practices manual, and CDC needlestick disposal. Sam takes a big old swallow of coffee and clicks his heels three times, but the woman and her ominous clipboard are still there.
Addison and Naomi debate the merits of Pete and Violet dating. They finally agree that if Violet is happy they are happy. They are interrupted by someone looking for Dell. They demand to know who she is, which seems unnecessarily rude even for this lot, and she introduces herself as Heather, Betsy's mom. They point her towards Dell's office and remark that she doesn't look like a crackwhore. I suppose Naomi in particular must be relieved that Dell's taste in women is broader than just skanky meth heads and her.
Cooper heads in to the men's room, but Violet charges in after him. She demands to know why he told everyone that she and Pete were involved. He admits that it's because he is shellshocked from Charlotte and doesn't want to see her get hurt the way he did. She swears she won't and then leaves Cooper to pee in peace. As the man deserves. FYI, they have really swanky bathrooms at Oceanside Wellness.
Heather finds Dell and Betsy in his office. Dell immediately drags her out to ask if she is late because she was using drugs. Heather claims she was at a job interview that was going well and she couldn't get out to call. Number two on my list of reasons not to start using meth is that every time you are late someone wants to know if you are using. How annoying would that be? Number one on my list is the damage to your enamel. What? Dental work is expensive. Dell asks if Betsy has been immunized, but Heather doesn't know. Dell sighs. That's what you get for procreating with crackheads, idiot.
Addison and Pete stare at the ocean together. Addison confesses that she and SWAT are on the outs. Pete tells her to ignore everyone's advice and do what she feels. She asks about Violet and he says that it's no big deal. It's just sex. She presses him and he says that they laugh, they talk, they play Scrabble, they took up pottery, and spent the holiday with his parents, but it's not a relationship. Addison points out that it sort of is and Pete looks thoughtful.
Violet waits for the elevator and runs into Sheldon the Impotent. He claims to miss seeing her, but then Pete joins the elevator ride and it gets all awkward. Pete gets strangely territorial in an incredibly short time span. It wasn't even one floor on the elevator ride. Violet looks concerned.
In the operating room with her scary metal rods skewering her patient, Addison decides it's a great time to ask Naomi if she missed the Pete boat. Naomi practically falls over laughing. She thinks Addison dodged a hurricane. Wyatt walks into this conversation and is (reasonably) irked that they are gossiping while working. Naomi blurts that Addison is dating someone with a gun, which is really a non sequiter, but Wyatt takes the bait. He compares dating a cop to dating the pool boy, which is funny, but also rude, and Addison calls a truce. She is trying to work, people!
As Cooper watches his measles patient and his mom, Charlotte finds him. She is up in arms over her visit from the County Health Department due to the measles exposure and she is blaming Cooper. He isn't in the mood for her malarkey. He is having a bad enough day and doesn't need her adding to it. His point is made when his patient crashes.
Heather barges into Dell's office, because I guess she left at some point. She just got notice that he is seeking full custody. She can't believe that he is seeking it now that she has her act cleaned up and just got a job. He wants Betsy safe, but I kind of agree with Heather. Heather glares at him and reminds him that he got her started on drugs (really? Dell! You suck, you cad.) and that if she has to fight him for custody it will push her over the edge and she will start using again. So too much stress will make her use? Her argument for retaining custody kind of lost steam there at the end.
Addison can't implant the tissue because everything she touches bleeds. Wyatt begs her to try because if she can't do it the woman will never have a child. You know, except for adoption or surrogacy. But let's pretend those options don't exist. Addison thinks about it, but the woman's blood pressure is dropping and the bleeding persists. She refuses to proceed. She tells Wyatt to shut his mouth while she saves his patient's life.
Cooper and Charlotte struggle to get the measles patient's airway open. Charlotte sends for a fiber-optic scope, but Cooper is ready to slice the kid's throat to get him some air. The scope shows up just in time and the kid is put on a ventilator. The mother stupidly asks if the kid is going to be okay now. Cooper doesn't answer, but takes a Mentos moment. The mother tracks him down to the waiting room where he is vaccinating her youngest son. She screams at him to stop, but Cooper does it anyway while Charlotte holds the mother back. While the mother comforts her undoubtedly traumatized son, she berates Cooper who is immune to her arguments at this point. He knows the vaccine is safe and Charlotte backs him up. What he did was medically necessary, but the mother hasn't been in Switzerland long enough to forget her American birth right to sue whenever possible. Charlotte takes a deep breath and tries not to toss her cookies at the thought of impending litigation. A code blue distracts everyone from further argument.Addison, Wyatt, and Naomi apologize to their patient for not being able to implant her. She sighs that she knows she should be happy to be alive. One word: adoption. Five other words: Be happy you are alive. Wyatt apologizes, but promises not to give up. That infuriates Addison and she follows him out of the room to berate him for creating false hope. Wyatt is confident that there was time to implant the tissue and save the patient's life and if Addison didn't hate him so much she would have tried harder. Addison almost agrees with him.
In blatant disregard of county health codes, the county health official finds Sam passed out in his office. Is this all on the same day? How did Addison schedule surgery in a busy hospital and get her patient prepped for it all on the same day? Doesn't the patient normally have to fast and have blood drawn and pee in a cup and stuff? And aren't all three of the doctors like covered in measles? Shouldn't they go home and shower or something? Sam hands her his enormous and newly-created Practices & Protocols file. She glances at it and puts it down and Sam is pissed. He accuses her of being overly professional and too harsh and critical and she in turn rounds on him for hating her before she even stepped foot in the place. Obviously they start making out.
Dell seeks Violet's advice on whether people can really change, but she thinks he is secretly yelling at her about dating Pete and freaks out. He clarifies that he is actually talking about Heather and she apologizes, shakes it off, and assumes the position. The therapist position, that is. She tells him that he needs to do what he thinks is best for his daughter. Dell is probably glad he didn't have to pay for that advice. Pete is randomly eavesdropping on the conversation and when Dell takes his apple and goes home, Pete walks in. He wants Violet to really consider having a relationship with him. A real one. Him and her. Pete looks so bored throughout this speech that it is difficult to believe he is particularly thrilled at the prospect. Is anyone excited by this possibility? I don't think so, but I'll go check the forums.
Cooper is laboring over the body of the kid. Charlotte begs him to call it, but he won't. He must keep trying. He must. Goddamnit. I am in tears and I forgot tissue. I'll be right back. They are playing some slow sad song while Cooper labors. The mother begs him not to stop. Cooper stops. He calls the time of death. The mother sobs that he just learned how to tie his shoes and ....excuse me I have to go lose it for awhile. Okay I'm back. The mother grabs her little son's body and cries and cries. Ah crap. I can't take this. It's too hard to type through tears. I know it's fake, but there's just no telling it to my eyeballs. Sigh. It's embarrassing. It's particularly embarrassing when you know it is all just an over-the-top government-backed message to get parents to vaccinate their kids. The mother sits next to Cooper apologizing; she thought she was protecting her sons. She was just trying to care for them. Cooper has his hand on her knee and she gets up to hold her kids. Cooper is teary-eyed as he watches and Charlotte comes to sit next to him. She assures him that he did everything he could. I hate this stupid baby killing show.
Violet is lurking in Addison's office when Pete finds her. Pete promises that he can change and didn't she just tell Dell that people can change? She isn't sure that she can change what she knows about him. He's a manwhore and she can't forget it. She doesn't want more from him than just sex. Normally I would point out what a hypocrite she is, but I'm still upset over watching that mother cry over her son's body. Ugh. I need a drink. Stupid show.
Dell knocks on Heather's door and she is reasonably suspicious. He is not there to gather evidence for his custody case, but to apologize for getting her addicted to drugs. What Hallmark doesn't make a card for that? She smiles and says she is doing better. Dell promises to try and work out their custody arrangement without court. He just needs to know she is safe. Oh shut it Dell, your daughter didn't even exist until this season! You can't be that attached to her yet.
Addison rides the elevator and the doors open exposing Naomi and Wyatt. Naomi looks abashed and gets on board with Addison. Wyatt stops the doors from shutting in order to apologize for being misogynistic and not appreciating Addison enough. I'm sure he's misogynistic, but I can't remember when or why. And I took a women's studies class, so I should recognize misogyny. Addison smiles at Naomi as they ascend to their little slice of paradise. Addison thanks Naomi for defending her to Wyatt and then admits that she might have pushed harder for the patient if she didn't hate Wyatt so much. She tells Naomi that she can work with Wyatt if she wants. Naomi looks pleased instead of kicking her in the shins and reminding her that she's not the boss of her. Oh wait, she is.
Sheldon tracks down Violet in her office. He really and truly wants to be friends with her without all the pressure of dating or sex or anything. Under Pete's creepy watchful eye, Violet smiles and agrees. It would be so awesome if Pete got all Glenn Close on Violet. That would be fine primetime.
Sam and the County Health Official get funky at a nightclub. I hope one person on this show gets to have a normal healthy relationship with someone not at all related to the practice. Of course if Sam starts dating her they probably will have to call her into consult all the time. Or they'll get shut down and she'll have to save them! How sad is it that I have to fantasize about potentially interesting plotlines for this show? Sheesh. I should start writing this show.
Addison calls SWAT. She misses him. She giggles, drinks her glass of wine, and smiles.
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