5 stars
Watch Closely
July 20, 2007
I actually think it takes an incredible amount of bravery for Scott Baio to walk the fire-walk he is walking, not to mention publicize and air it for the viewing audience. The fact of the matter is the majority of men who are raised in the Western world are socially conditioned, indoctrinated into the mental software program that Scott's life has been running off of unconsciously for so many years. The fact that he is doing this means some part of him is authentically ready for a transformation. He has reached that place where is ready for a relationship that has genuine intimacy. A play on words with the word intimacy is into me see. Dr. Ali is correct about the armoring. It is a very real energetic state (which can happen just as much with women as men, I might add). Society feeds all sorts of messages to us, both as men and women. For many men there is often a very strong punch that hits the jaw early on in life that you aren't a real man without_______________ (fill in the blank). Maybe it's money. Maybe it's sleeping with as many women as you possibly can vis i vis Wilt Chamberlin. The difficulty, ultimately, lies within the depths of some sort of void or hole that Scott is trying to fill through his varied experiences. His preoccupation with being 45 and getting close to 50 has to do with a real fear that he isn't really living his life to the fullest, but even more so it is a fear of death. When a man is with a woman intimately (and even more so with a younger woman) there is some sense of comfort drawn from the experience that reifies that one is still young, still alive and thriving. It's almost like--within the psyche of the man working through some of these intimacy issues--there is a strange elation gained from each sensual experience, as if we've cheated death somehow. However, that feeling is impermanent, fleeting, non-sustainble, leading--therefore--to the next conquest, the next woman, the next experience of trying to cheat death. I know some people hold some contempt for all of this being presented in a television show, with Scott, but I actually see the process he is going through as a kind of initiation...an initiation into awareness, into being a truly alive and awake conscious warrior, as opposed to a playboy living a life with no depth, no real meaning, and no impulse-control. There is a saying that goes: People do not change until the pain of change is perceived to be less than the pain of staying the same. Clearly, beyond the glibness and the East Coast puffed up windbag machismo bull [profane], there is a seed of pain that is fueling the process. As a former counselor, and as a man who has made the exact same journey as Scott but who fought and defeated the inner dragon of addiction I simply say to those individuals who are quick to judge that we can never really know another person's journey---what very early life experiences may have shaped a person, and what complexes and unhealed wounds might end up leading a person around by the nose. I, of course, cannot know whether Scott will make the most of the process. It's incredibly vulnerable to face one's shadow, one's dragon, with another person. It's a whole other thing to put that on the air for the entire world to see, especially in such a way that could influence the outcome of future success or future failure in terms of one's work. To conclude, I think Scott should be lauded for his efforts, while simultaneously getting whacked by a bamboo shinai (wooden practice sword in martial arts training) anytime he slides into bull [profane] territory. The ego is at the root of all conflict, all drama, all games. Destroy the ego and then and only then does a man brush sleeves with the actual truth of his destiny.
My only recommendation for Scott is to spend some time in a place touched with profound pain, Darfur, for instance. Sit with people who have been raped, beaten, who have been forced to watch their loved ones murdered before their very eyes. Sit in and look into the eyes of such people and then try to conjure the inspiration to go chase a bunch of skirts at the club. When a person--man or woman--comes to the full realization of the enormous volume of suffering that exists, suddenly life transforms from where can I get my next piece of ass? to how can I make a difference? ... how can I leave the world better place?
Frank
http://www.myspace.com/zensualist
