Seinfeld Season 9 Episode Guide
Tonight at 07:30 pm WWOR (ch 44)
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The Foundation
Episode 1 Originally aired: September 19, 1996George is on the quick road to recovery after Susan's death but her parents are inspired by a movie quote of Jerry's to start a foundation in her memory. Jerry breaks up with his current girlfriend and starts dating an old flame. He tries to figure out which 'break-up' story is most appealing to women- his or George's. Elaine gets in hot water when Peterman flees the country and leaves her in charge…more
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The Soul Mate
Episode 2 Originally aired: September 26, 1996George is worried that the lawyer at Susan's foundation thinks he killed Susan. He leaves a briefcase with a tape recorder in the room to uncover the truth but he retrieves it damaged and the tape recorder stopped. Kramer starts falling for Jerry's new girlfriend and unwisely turns to Newman for advice. Meanwhile, Elaine is sick of people telling her she should have a baby so she declares her desire for no chil…more
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The Bizarro Jerry
Episode 3 Originally aired: October 3, 1996Elaine starts dating a man who happens to have friends that are bizarre versions of Jerry, George and Kramer. Jerry starts dating a gorgeous woman but she has one draw back- man sized hands. George uses a picture of the beauty to get himself into an exclusive lounge where only top models hang out. Kramer uses the bathroom in an office building and emerges with a job there.
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The Little Kicks
Episode 4 Originally aired: October 10, 1996Elaine allows George to tag along to a party she is throwing at work, however he gets more than he bargained for after he sees her unique form of dancing and exclaims "Sweet Fancy Moses". Her employees suddenly seem to lose respect for her so Elaine blames George and forbids him from pursuing one of her employees that he thought was cute. The object of George's affection becomes fascinated by him because o…more
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The Package
Episode 5 Originally aired: October 17, 1996Kramer comes up with a scheme to extend the warranty on Jerry's broken stereo. While visiting a doctor for a rash, Elaine tries to look at her medical file, which gets her in trouble. Meanwhile, Jerry refuses to sign for a package that has been sent to him without a return address. His Uncle Leo ends up signing for it and Jerry discovers that the package is from Kramer, with his broken stereo inside and the package…more
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The Fatigues
Episode 6 Originally aired: October 31, 1996Kramer volunteers to help cook dinner for a Jewish singles function and tries to get Mr. Costanza to oversee the cooking when he learns of his past as a chef during the Korean War. Mr. Costanza refuses, however, because he experienced severe shell shock. Jerry starts dating a woman who has a mentor- a fact that he is fascinated with until he finds out that her mentor is dating his comic nemesis. Meanwhile, Elaine tries…more
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The Checks
Episode 7 Originally aired: November 7, 1996Jerry starts receiving royalty checks from a Japanese TV show that used a clip of him. The only problem is that each check is for a paltry 12 cents. The checks give Kramer and George an idea, however, to revive Jerry and George's 'show about nothing' and try to sell it to the Japanese station. Elaine deals with a new boyfriend that is obsessed with designer furniture and the song "Desperado".
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The Chicken Roaster
Episode 8 Originally aired: November 14, 1996Jerry and Kramer switch apartments when Kramer can't sleep due to a neon sign promoting Kenny Rogers Roaster beaming into his bedroom. George is convinced that leaving a personal effect behind at a woman's apartment is the best way to ensure a second date but this gets Elaine into trouble when George leaves behind her fur hat that she had charged to her expense account. Once Kramer and Jerry have switched apartm…more
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The Abstinence
Episode 9 Originally aired: November 21, 1996George finds himself becoming super intelligent after he has to abstain from sex due to his girlfriend's bout with mono. Elaine tries to use the technique to help her boyfriend doctor study for his medical exams but the process makes her progressively stupider. Jerry is set to perform at a high school career day but gets bumped. Later his agent gets him a two hour gig in front of the junior high school assembly but…more
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The Andrea Doria
Episode 10 Originally aired: December 19, 1996George is in the running for a great new apartment but learns that he may lose it to a survivor of the Andrea Doria shipwreck. He petitions the apartment board to hear the story of his life. Elaine goes on a blind date with a man who she soon learns is a bad 'breaker upper'. Jerry discovers bags of mail in his storage locker left there by Newman, however, when he learns that Newman is up for a transfer to Hawai…more
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The Little Jerry
Episode 11 Originally aired: January 9, 1997Kramer buys a rooster, thinking it is a chicken, and names it 'Little Jerry'. The rooster turns out to be beneficial to Jerry after he bounces a check at a local liquor store and has trouble paying it off. But the owner of the store turns out to run an underground cockfighting ring so Jerry is able to enter the rooster. 'Little Jerry' turns out to be a star fighter. Meanwhile, George has to visit a wom…more
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The Money
Episode 12 Originally aired: January 16, 1997With Jerry still having money problems, his parents sell the Cadillac that Jerry gave them for $6000 and give the money to Jerry, hoping that he will make a career change. Meanwhile, Elaine discusses her stock options with George and buys his coffee, making George think she's sticking it to him. Elaine proceedes to hire Mr. Seinfeld so that he can help support Jerry but she ends up getting demoted when Peterman retu…more
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The Comeback
Episode 13 Originally aired: January 30, 1997George gets insulted by a co-worker and becomes obsessed with delivering the perfect comeback insult. Jerry buys a tennis racket from a supposed pro but later finds out that he is a phony. The man tries to bribe Jerry to keep quiet about his lack of skill, even offering up his wife. Elaine and Kramer pick video rentals based on a two different employees' 'picks' and Elaine develops a secret phone relationsh…more
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The Van Buren Boys
Episode 14 Originally aired: February 6, 1997Kramer has a run in with a street gang named the Van Buren Boys and only escapes unharmed when he mistakenly flashes them the appropriate secret gang sign. The gang even invite Kramer into their fold. Elaine, who is ghost writing Peterman's biography, wants to use Kramer's story about the gang as Peterman's stories are too boring for her. Peterman agrees and offers Kramer $750 for his life story. Kramer ag…more
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The Susie
Episode 15 Originally aired: February 13, 1997When Elaine fails to correct a co-worker who calls her Susie, things spiral out of control. The co-worker bad mouths Elaine to 'Susie' and then ends up insisting that 'Susie' be brought in front of Peterman with Elaine present. Elaine gets out of the situation but laments the situation to Jerry. Jerry has an encounter with an old foe, now a bookie, who called him 'a phoney'. The bookie ends up …more
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The Pothole
Episode 16 Originally aired: February 20, 1997In order to have Chinese food delivered, Elaine has to pretend that a janitor's closet in the building across the street from hers is her apartment as it's in the delivery zone and her place is not. Kramer adopts a stretch of highway and George loses his keys and finds them at the bottom of a recently filled pothole. Jerry drops his new girlfriend's toothbrush in the toilet and doesn't tell her. He also…more
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The English Patient
Episode 17 Originally aired: March 13, 1997Jerry heads to Florida to help his parents move and agrees to bring back some 'real Cubans' for Kramer's cigar guy. Jerry takes the request too literally and brings back actual Cuban people, who ironically end up being Dominican. While in Florida, Jerry is challenged by an 80 year old man in the gym to a weightlifting contest. The old man consistently throws out his back and seeks treatment in New York. Me…more
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The Nap
Episode 18 Originally aired: April 10, 1997George decides that the space under his desk is the perfect place to nap. His boss comes in looking for him and decides to wait, so instead of getting caught, George quietly calls Jerry and has him call in a bomb threat. Kramer thinks that his gym's pool isn't spacious enough for his swimming needs so he starts swimming in the East River, with odorous results. Elaine complains about her sore back to her new boy…more
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The Nap
Episode 19 Originally aired: April 10, 1997George decides that the space under his desk is the perfect place to nap. His boss comes in looking for him and decides to wait, so instead of getting caught, George quietly calls Jerry and has him call in a bomb threat. Kramer thinks that his gym's pool isn't spacious enough for his swimming needs so he starts swimming in the East River, with odorous results. Elaine complaines about her sore back to her new boyfriend …more
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The Yada Yada
Episode 20 Originally aired: April 24, 1997Jerry thinks that the only reason his dentist converted to Judaism is to be able to tell Jewish jokes. Elaine tries to help her married friends adopt a baby but ends up making the situation worse. Meanwhile, Kramer and his friend Mickey are set to go out on a blind date but neither can agree on which girl they want to go with. George has a new girlfriend who drives him crazy with her constant use of the phrase yada yad…more
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The Millennium
Episode 21 Originally aired: May 1, 1997Jerry is excited at first about being number one on his girlfriend's speed dial but it doesn't turn out to be a good thing. Worried about the approaching millennium, Kramer decides to hold his New Years Party two years early. Meanwhile, George thinks he has found a better job with the Mets but he has to be fired by the Yankees first before he can accept the job. Elaine changes her allegiance to a different clot…more
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The Muffin Tops
Episode 22 Originally aired: May 8, 1997Elaine relays a 'million dollar idea' of selling only the tops of muffins to her old boss Mr. Lippman and is shocked when he steals her idea and opens up a muffin top bakery. Meanwhile, reacting to Peterman's refusal to share any of the biography profits with Kramer considering he used all of his stories, Kramer starts his own 'Peterman reality' bus tour. George agrees to watch a suitcase for a touri…more
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The Muffin Tops
Episode 23 Originally aired: May 8, 1997Elaine becomes a partner in a muffin business; Jerry shaves his chest.
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The Summer of George
Episode 24 Originally aired: May 15, 1997George gets three months severance pay from the Yankees and decides to make the best of it and live it up over the summer. Elaine makes an off-handed comment about a woman co-worker who doesn't move her arms when she walks but the other office workers perceive it as a cat fight. Elaine ends up having a real cat fight with Raquel Welch, who Kramer butted heads with while being a seat filler at the Tony Awards. Jerry…more
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The Summer of George
Episode 25 Originally aired: May 15, 1997George plans a vacation; Elaine critiques a co-worker (Molly Shannon); guest Raquel Welch.
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