They fight! And fight! And fight and fight and fight!
Updated 2002-01-06 16:00:00
Anyway, Charlotte points out that living together usually requires a period of adjustment. Carrie says she misses walking into her empty apartment and having that time for her S.S.B., or "secret single behavior." Sam is all, "Like masturbate?" No, Carrie means eating a bunch of crackers with jelly or whatever. Char says she used to examine her pores for an hour each night before Trey and she got hitched. Mir says she likes to deep-condition her hands and watch infomercials. Hee. I know I'll eat less cheese doodles when my b.f. moves in. They are the stupidest, most artificial snack ever. It'll be salsa and chips from then on. Baked chips. With soy protein. Really. Sam says she has no such quirks, and does nothing she wouldn't want a man to see. Mir believes her. So do I. That woman is shameless, and I mean that in a good way. Besides, it's not like she ever home-waxes or anything. Her phone rings, and it's Dick, a.k.a. Richard, her boss whom she screwed on the plane. All the girls look very interested as she complains that it's Sunday, but she'll drop off those papers in an hour since he needs them so badly. Carrie is all, "Skyrockets in flight, afternoon delight?" More like "boom, boom, boom, let's go back to my room." But Sam insists it's just work. And she doesn't want to talk about it. Say it with them, people. "WOOOOO! Samantha likes a guy!" They tease her. Sam gives up one detail -- that she loves Dick's dick. "It's long, pink, perfect. It's dick-a-licious!" Carrie is all, back to me now, again: "What about Aidan's stuff?"
Charlotte and Trey are having a meal. She says she wants to have the girls over for dinner. He's all, "That sounds nice!" But Char says he's not invited; it's a girl's night only. That's a little uncool to do when you're married, I think. The husband gets all displaced. Why not have dinner out? Well, it's her house too. Char is "trying to get [her] dayplanner back together, since [they're] no longer on the baby track." We get an aerial shot of her and Trey on opposite sides of their long dining room table, with clutter between them filling up the spaces in the already-thick tension. Char trills how odd it is now, with a baby room but no baby to put in it, ha ha! Trey says he has some good news: he may have orchestra seats to The Producers. Starring the husband of guess who. That's a little too meta for me, but whatever, it's not like there's anything else good on Broadway now. Oh wait: Proof. But that's hardly a comedy. And Trey wants Char to know that "life goes on," with or without a baby, and that they "have to find a way to have a giggle." He's so stiff and WASP-y, he sounds almost British. I want to hear him say "veddy propah," or "jolly good kippers, wot?" He asks Char to show him a smile, and she makes a really funny kind of grimace like, "I'll humor you, but WTF?"