Nicole Richie and Joel Madden get parental props from a Hilton, and we take a trip down memory lane with Eva Longoria's ex hub unit! Plus, we check into the state of the Bush union and guess why Annette Bening ain't Broadway bound anymore!The normally press-shy, huffy heiress sis Nicky Hilton was unusually chatty and candid at the Hornitos Tequila launch party at Opera Thursday night. The younger H-hon actually asked us to check her tag when she didn't know who she was wearing—quelle horreur! Nic was even down to dish on Nicole Richie's impending mama-hood: "She's gonna be great," Nicky espoused. “She and Joel are so sweet." Well, actually, that's she and Joel are so sweet, but, don't wanna get Katherine Heigl here or anything. "A few months ago," N.H. continued, "my family had a charity on Easter for the Make a Wish foundation, and Joel was so cute. He got all the kids in a circle and had them playing duck duck goose." Excuse me? Is that a terribly chic breeder game? If it ain't poker, I'm lost... Inside said boozy bash, hosted by Ashlee Simpson, Nicky sucked face with David Katzenberg, while newly single Stephen Colletti drank his post-Hayden Panettiere pain away and got cozy with former flame Lauren Conrad. Much more 80-proof-soaked fun tomorrow with Ashlee, Piven, Paris and more! Can ya hold your hotness hangover till then? Thought so.

“Good.”—Eva Longoria, when a bosomy, bejeweled Hollywood fixture told Ms. L., absolutely unprovoked, that she'd been married to a basketball player for years and that their marriage was still going strong. Gosh. Wonder why Eva-babe was so relieved to hear that rather busybody declaration?

Could it be because her newlywed hubby, Tony Parker, already has a wandering eye? Hardly! I think it's far more to do with Eva's own marital past. After all, don't the kinky karma gods above usually see to it that those who aren't exactly primo to their paramours end up getting a kick in the rubber parts as payment? Don't know what I mean? Just ask, uh, Brad Pitt one day soon, if you don't.Or Longoria herself. Might want to run a dude by the name of Tyler Christopher (Eva's first hubby) by her and see how much the small-screen man-cheater blanches. 'Cause T.C. just turns red when he hears about days gone Eva past, why's that Mrs. L?You torture the poor boy, or somethin'? Hear ya did!

As long as we're on the busted-up patrol—and since we're not quite to the point of registering  Brangelina for that department (let's check our watches shortly, 'kay?)—let's check in on two couples who could not be more disparate: George and Laura Bush and Christina Applegate and Johnathon Schaech. Both duos are coming to light, or dark, lately:First of all, saw J.S. out 'n' about recently looking so damn effable it was painful. Dude's got it without even trying. I mean, you know how Matthew McConaughey struts, preens, prances and nude-dances that colossally buffed bod of his within an inch of its overly worked-out life—and he ends up looking like a cross between Fabio and Martina Navratilova? So precious. So studied. So not wild 'n' abandoned booty material.Unlike Schaech. Who just steps out in an ill-fitting tee and baseball cap, and the guy's ready to make 'em pant. Just as I hear he did over at Venice mag, which recently photographed the muscle man half naked for an upcoming issue.Was Applegate on crack when she left this man, or just halfway up somebody else's? Do tell, you idiot woman. Anyway, can't wait to read the issue. It takes a man to show he's hurt, right? None of that tough-lip crap for our studly Johnnie!Hardly makin' em swoon would be Dubya and Laura, as I've been going on about for months. Can't tell you how many people have written in accusing me of writing falsehoods about Bush's drinking (I assure you, it's not made up) or the First Lady hauling her behind outta the White House (ditto). These e-jurists insist that if these two domestic factoids were true, the mainstream press—whatever the ef that is—would be “all over” this sitch.Bulls--t. Just go back to Dubya's daddy and ask any knowledgeable Washington reporter who was D.C.-based at the time why they never reported on Bush Sr.'s extracurricular activities back then. To this day, there remains some kind of unwritten agreement among political media powers to generally hush up the personal. Kennedy got away with it; Clinton didn't. Nor did Larry Craig.But Bush continues to. For how long? As long as that hideous war overshadows everything else—of that, I am certain.

So, let's put the possibly moving-on theory to test, shall we? Say, for ince, if Laura Bush divorces the prez? Hell, there's already talk in Washington she's found her own Condoleezza Rice (and by that, my nasty amigas, I don't mean she's gone sapphic, just mean L.B. isn't exactly without her own “dates” to this 'n' that, just like Dubya likes to escort Condi similarly). I called straight in to Desk DeeCee, which, as I've said before, hangs with this set sweetly.Here was their response to such a (and, I think, quite possible) scenario of the First Couple splitting up:

“Much like L.A.,” DDC relayed, “this town is all about forging relationships that enable social/political climbing and doing deals—in the bedroom, boardroom and everywhere in between.” Oh, fab, thought we Angelinos were the only heartless, avaricious power freaks out there. Good to know we're not!“Without her last name,” my superclose Bush hanger continued, “Laura doesn't have any clout or pull. And when divorces happen in that family, the exes are not treated well. The Bushies circle the wagons and ensure that the grandchildren are cared for, but they don't necessarily give a s--t about the no-longer-Bushes.”Could the above Royal Family vs. Di-like sitch be one reason why we aren't hearing too much more about Laura's exit plan? Perhaps. Stay sticky tuned.Yet more sad news to share. I'm so sorry, I really am! Annette Bening won't be returning to the boards after all, as announced. Hopeful theater types were all abuzz when the A-list emoter announced she was doing The Female of the Species, a play that was scheduled to preview here in Hell-Ay before opening on Broadway. The multi-Oscar-nominated gal has quit the play altogether, of course, for "personal reasons."Hmmm. Wonder what they are? Warren starting to flirt with the help at home a tad too much? Nah. But, you're warm. According to those who witnessed the pulling out, firsthand, Bening said buh-bye because her son was "acting out," and she wants to devote considerable time to seeing that he not become like Uncle Jack Nicholson. Hey, a gazillion Oscars in life ain't bad, but I get mama Bening's concern. Oh, for the official record, A.B.'s rep says the aforementioned explanation is "so not true," but he declined to say what, exactly was behind the pullout.Trust me, don't think I'm off on this one, and good for Annette!

We also hear producer Gil Cates is hoping to replace A.B. with Jane Fonda (as well as Judi Dench or Lily Tomlin, among others), but nothing's been signed just yet. All of this somehow reminds us of Lindsay Lohan (there are six, even 1,600 degrees of debauched separation to this woman these days). Remember, L2 toiled—and then some—together on the utterly awful Georgia Rule, and who would Annette have worked with on A Woman of No Importance? Uh-huh. Linds-babes. That is, until she got replaced by Jessica Biel.Now, as bummed as we are that Annette won't be taking center stage, we do applaud the gal for putting fam first, even if it means compromising her own career. Dina Lohan could learn a thing or 10 from Ms. B.Debra Messing, makin' a quickie appearance at a Gersh Agency pre-Emmy party with Frederic Fekkai to celebrate his new Melrose Place salon. Deb-doll had flown in from Boston to attend the party, held at Sunset Tower, but only stayed a few minutes before rushing off. Before ditching, Debra stopped to say hi to Big Love babes Mary Kay Place and Jeanne Tripplehorn, who were also hangin' at the bash. Hope Miz Messing, aka swag queen extraordinaire, didn't forget her gift bag! You so know she di-int! Schlepping in the same city was...Janeane Garofalo, hoofin' it down Crescent Heights, above Melrose. Apparently, some people do actually walk in L.A., even celebs! The funnygal was “shorter than expected” (what, our spy was conjuring up Venus Williams?), wearing bright pink pants and carrying a backpack and groceries. “She looked awful,” sassed this fellow pedestrian. Oh, Janeane, I once wore pink to the GLAAD Awards, and Defamer said the same thing about me, so I wouldn't fret overly. In even snootier locales by the coast was...Eve, having dinner at Joe's in Santa Barbara. Maybe the Philly native was having a bad hair day, as she had on a green kerchief over her platinum locks and a black top. Despite the fact that she's gotten her alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet removed, fellow diners report the rappin' babe wasn't drinking and strictly stickin' to solid sustenance.