When last we left Clark, he was getting his super-ass handed to him by a phantom named Bizarro Clark, who is a cool, jerky version of Clark with a deep, husky voice. Reeves Dam busts open, sending water everywhere, as a burst dam tends to do. Clark saves a kid and his dad by using heat vision to evaporate all the water. All the animals dependent on that water are like, "Thanks, asshole." The police car that Lex was put in falls into the water. Just before he"s going to drown, he"s saved by an angelic-looking blonde. She takes him to shore and flies away. Papa Luthor, washed-up and unconscious, is whisked away by the hands of an unidentified person. Chloe, still somehow alive, is taken to the hospital. Her vital signs are all over the place, and then she dies. But not really. She"s taken to the morgue and reawakens, calling for help. Clark hears her and rescues her. Chloe doesn"t want to talk about her super-teardrop from last season (neither do we, frankly), but she"s sad to hear that Lana died. Bizarro Clark grabs Lois"s ass and tries to get it on with her, but she forgives him. Lex, feeling saved by an angel, decides to turn himself in for Lana"s murder even though he didn"t kill her. His lawyer doesn"t think he"ll fare well given some tape-recorded evidence, but Bizarro Clark shows up to allay those fears: he kills the lawyer, who now never has to worry about going to trial. Clark asks Martian Manhunter for advice on stopping Bizarro Clark. They have a conversation that seems to last for weeks, but the conclusion is that Clark"s humanity is his greatest strength and his biggest weakness. Yeah, we knew that in the first season. Also, Clark"s power comes from the sun. He never realized he was particularly lame on cloudy days? Because Bizarro Clark seems to have the opposite strengths and weaknesses, Clark figures out a way to stop him. They fight, and Clark knocks the sucka into the sun. Problem solved! Clark ruminates on the nature of hate. He also decides to finally follow his destiny instead of trying to be human. Yeah, chew on that until next week, dude. Meanwhile, in Shanghai, China, Lana lives! She"s wearing a crappy blonde wig and having to pose against a really fake-looking background. You call that living? Lex goes to jail. He does not pass Go. No $200. It"s humiliating in that Kelly Clarkson sings as they put him away. At the end of the episode, we see Lex"s blonde savior from earlier, wearing a strange and tight red-and-blue top and a silver bracelet. She stands up and flies off into the night. Wow! What a super...girl!