These Nuts
Updated 2007-01-29 16:00:00
Clark is hanging out in the barn with his dog Shelby (Shelby's back! Call off the rescue team!) when he hears a weird noise. He goes to investigate, and something knocks him on his ass. The next thing he knows, he's in a mental institution with his powers gone and everyone around him convinced that he's delusional about everything we've had to suffer through for the last six years or so. A kindly doctor tries to convince Clark that he's been delusional since his freshman year of high school, and that this whole superhero thing was a construct of his mind, made up using details from the facility (like a Dr. Milton Fine, a book called Fortress Of Solitude, an employee of the month named Oliver Queen -- that sort of thing). Clark is like, "***** that noise!," and escapes from the place. Interestingly, there's an actual persistent noise throughout, as if David Lynch were manning the sound controls. Clark finds out on the outside that his mom has married Papa Luthor (score!), and that Lana has been in love with him since they were little and isn't with Lex anymore. Chloe is a little nutty, and was institutionalized with him. Also, Lex lost his legs in that bridge accident and hates Clark. Things go awry when the dudes sent to round up Clark shoot Chloe and kill her. Clark is taken back to the institution, where a mysterious dude who claims to be from Mars tells him to resist the treatment and kill the doctor, who is actually a phantom. It turns out, says the Martian, that a Zoner has gotten into Clark's brain and if he doesn't fight back, he'll lose that tiny thing forever. Clark almost decides to give in and live a quiet, lame life with Lana, but at the last moment realizes Lana was imaginary and that the doctor really is a monster. Clark fights and finds himself back at the barn, no worse for wear and with his powers back. His new pal Martian Manhunter is there waiting, but doesn't stick around because he's too cool to be hanging out here. Clark tells Chloe, who just showed up, that this must mean he's still in love with Lana. Clark then sees Lana at the Talon, and tells her a tiny bit about his dream. Then Lex walks in and it's awk-ward! Really, Clark and Lana again? That's where you're taking the show, guys? I'd complain, but that part of my brain is closed for remodeling and I'm just gonna sit here, numb and smiling.