The Hardy Boys: It's What's (Almost) For Dinner
Updated 2006-02-19 16:00:00
While in Minnesota investigating a young boy's claim that he witnessed a mysterious kidnapping, Sam goes and gets kidnapped himself. Dean convinces a policewoman to help him search for Sam, and the two eventually find themselves poking around the backwoods. What they find is pretty gruesome: a family that kidnaps people in order to release them into the woods, hunt them down, kill them, and then put their teeth into decorative jars around the house. Martha would most definitely not approve. I think she'd recommend a more beachy theme involving sand and sea shells, probably in an oversized hurricane lamp. The Minnesotan hillbillies catch Dean and the policewoman, but despite putting their heads together -- a brain trust totaling negative 4,657 IQ points -- they are unable to contain anybody. The hillbillies eventually start shooting each other by accident, showing that they have more in common with the Bush Administration than cumulative IQ. Oooooh. The policelady shoots the head hillbilly, avenging her brother's death, and then the episode just sort of stops.
But if there is one rule in television, it's that people like to watch things involving crazy inbred evil rituals, and we'll forgive just about anything, including but not limited to: unidentifiable accents, inaccurate hillbilly genealogy (shouldn't these guys have been more militia types?), the unlikely sympathy the officer shows Dean even after discovering he's stolen a police badge, Sam's continually problematic hair, the ungodly number of cultural references made in place of a compelling, original plot -- and trucker caps.