Hello, and did everyone have a lovely summer? Good. Let"s kick this season"s ass into gear, then:
First off, just in case these particular plot points vanished for you beneath a tidal wave of gin and tonics over the last four months (it could happen), Our Intrepid Heroes managed to off their lifelong foe The Ceiling Demon with The Fucking Colt That Can Kill Anything Except When It Can"t, but not before Our Yellow-Eyed Acquaintance conspired to have that hateful shoulder-smasher G.I. Jake unlock -- as the fabulous Ellen Harvelle put it in last season"s finale -- "a damned door to Hell," thereby unleashing Our Dear Boys" worthless bastard of a so-called father once more upon an innocent and unsuspecting world. Well, him and a few hundred demons as well, but Shut Up Daddy"s escape is the one that pissed everyone off. Oh, yeah, one more thing: El Deano swapped both his eternal soul and the remainder of his earthly existence save for one final year in exchange for Darling Sammy"s life, and immense was the wailing and gnashing of teeth amongst the Deangirls.
But that was then. And now? Dean and his freshly zombified brother -- along with a few very special guests who shall remain nameless at the moment -- must corral all those escaped beasties back into the Hell from which they emerged on streaming gouts of bitterly black demonic goo, starting with tonight"s septet of horrors, the actual, honest-to-God Seven Deadly Sins, and I think I"ve seen this one before. With a capable assist from the inimitable Bobby and a bungling assist from a couple of inept fellow hunters named Tamara and Isaac -- the latter of whom gets his damn fool self killed in a most delightfully gruesome manner by Gluttony -- Our Intrepid Heroes eventually prevail, though not before they manage to slaughter at least five of the unfortunate humans the Sins possessed during their brief sojourn topside, and after an awkwardly penned denouement, the boys grumble off towards yet another season of adventures through truck-stop America in their trusty 1967 Impala.
God, that was dull.