Donnie Dorko
Updated 2003-09-05 17:00:00
Previously on The O.C., Luke angrily saw that Ryan had moved in and made himself right at home. Summer asked whether Marissa was into Ryan, and Marissa unconvincingly said she wasn't. Ryan and Marissa weren't at Cotillion together, but Luke was done with Marissa anyway. Jimmy stole money from his friends because he couldn't say no to his family. But he'll pay everything back! (Unless, of course, his family asks him not to.) Sandy urged Kirsten to put her personal feelings for Jimmy aside, but he was one of her oldest friends! Greg Fisher yelled, "Son of a bitch!" and punched Jimmy out at Cotillion. Then Luke was sorry, but Marissa just needed to be alone.
The camera races across the water, leading up to the beach, where girls strut in bikinis and a surfer takes a giant, hilarious digger. Ryan and Seth gleefully bicycle and skateboard, respectively, down the pier, exchanging joyful glances. Those are some happy boys! They tie up outside a restaurant; once inside, they peer at a giant lobster in a tank. Ryan asks why they're there, and Seth explains that they and the lobster are like samurais, and they "need to have respect for each other before meeting in battle." He further explains that eating lobster is a battle, as Ryan will soon learn. Ryan doesn't know how to eat lobster? He's from Chino, not Mars. Without breaking his stare into the tank, Seth asks whether Ryan is wearing a new shirt. Ryan reveals that Kirsten bought him new clothes, which she didn't have to do. I guess she bought him the underpants, too. Seth agrees, because everyone knows Ryan "can get a lot of mileage out of a tank top." Hee. Seth then asks, "Speaking of which, do you think I could pull off the wifebeater? You know, switch up my look?" And for those who sent emails, that's not my word -- take it up with Fox. Ryan has no response except his signature stare, leading Seth to conclude, "Gotcha. You got your style; I got mine." Ryan agrees. As they head off to be seated, Seth lingers behind to make a throat-cutting gesture at the lobster and proclaims, "Dead!"
We see the carnage of their lobster meal, as Ryan says it was amazing, if a bit of work. Seth -- whose interest in Ryan's love life can only be rivaled by Sandy's interest in Seth's love life -- asks what's going on with Marissa. Have they talked? Ryan doesn't think she wants to talk because of what's going on with her father. Seth's not down with that, insisting that he knows what Ryan's problem is, and that he speaks "from experience with great authority here." And Seth? Tony the Tiger called, and he wants his "grrrrreat!" back. On second thought, he wants you to keep his "grrrrreat!" because it's just so adorable when you say it. In any case, Seth suggests that Ryan needs to be aggressive: Luke and Marissa broke up, and Ryan needs to pursue her and reveal his feelings. Ryan asks what they'll do and where they'll go since he has neither car nor money. Seth cockily whips out his billfold and reclines to pull out bills, explaining that he picked up a couple of sailing lessons this week and is "feelin' a little bit flush." Well, I'm feeling a little bit flushed when Seth flashes his wallet around and talks about dating. Ryan resists the offer, insisting that he can't keep taking from the Cohens because they've been paying for everything since they took him in. Seth rebuts, "They're parents. They work for us." Hee. Ryan clarifies that they are Seth's parents, but Seth insists that as Ryan's guardians, the "same principle" applies. Just as Seth asks what Ryan plans to do for cash, we hear a crash from the kitchen, followed by one "Get out of here!" and one "You can't fire me, I quit!" Then, a woman squeals with laughter, which may or may not be related to the argument going on inside. It's just Contrivance, dropping a plate in the kitchen and getting fired; Ryan has a sudden job prospect, and Seth thinks it's fine if Ryan takes the job but insists, "You're hookin' me up with free lobster!"
Tinkle, tinkle, tink. California, here we come!