Cold Stones
Updated 2006-05-26 17:00:00
Tony arrives home to find Carmela yelling at AJ. She explains that she went to Blockbuster to rent Cinderella Man (which is exactly the movie Carmela would rent right now, so nice detail, writers) and found out that AJ was fired three weeks ago and has been lying to them about working. Tony wonders how you get fired from Blockbuster, since "they got rhesus monkeys working as managers over there." Carmela explains that AJ and his friend were taking promotional items from the store and selling them. I have a hard time believing that's the only thing AJ did wrong because (a) I've worked retail and it takes more than that to get fired; and (b) it's AJ, and I know he *****ed up a lot more than that. AJ bitches that the stuff was just thrown out anyway, and then snaps, "Well, maybe I care about the environment. Did that ever occur to you? Wallace & Gromit? I mean, that weighed like fifty pounds! How many trees gave their lives for that." Wow. Just, wow. I had the occasion to hang out with a nineteen-year-old recently, and no offense to the nineteen-year-olds out there, but it's astounding how well the writers have captured the jackassitude of that age. I was a jackass at nineteen, and probably so were you, and so is AJ. Carmela and Tony just stare in amazement as AJ complains that he was trying to think like a businessman. So is he an environmentalist or a businessman? Tony thinks that AJ deserved to get canned for his poor attendance. Carmela thinks the worst part is that AJ doesn't even care. AJ calls Blockbuster "a bunch of religious fanatics," and then adds that they don't pay him a living wage. Tony laughs right out loud at that one, and Carmela serves as the voice of the viewer: "Why not? You live at home! We feed you!" AJ wonders why his parents get to have a social life and he doesn't. Maybe because it's their money? Well, Tony's money anyway. AJ informs them that it costs $500 for a bottle of Cristal in a club, and it's usually a two-bottle minimum. Carmela is somehow not too sympathetic toward the cost of clubbing in the city. AJ tries to backpedal, and Tony seizes on another opportunity to criticize AJ's stupid friend Hernan. Carmela can't take it anymore and stomps out of the room. AJ yells at her that he's been looking for a new job online, every day. Yeah, those minimum-wage retail jobs are so hard to come by. Then again, since all AJ has on his resume is "fired from Blockbuster," I guess he might have trouble getting hired. But then again, his last name is Soprano, so that has to pull some weight somewhere. AJ complains about Carmela to Tony, who counters that AJ should kiss his mother's feet, because she's the only thing that kept Tony from punching AJ in the mouth on several occasions. AJ scoffs like he's heard this before and doesn't buy it. As soon as Tony leaves, AJ flips him off. God, what a douchebag.