Thunderbirds
Updated 2009-09-03 08:47:25
Morning in the Vegas Mansion. Ashley and Jen lie in bed and write notes in little notepads. Thinking up recipes? Journal entries? Letters home? Jen interviews that she's pissed that the women lost the wedding challenge. Meanwhile, Mike I, Eli, and Michael V. sit outside as Mike I. regrets the amount of gel he put in his hair this morning. Okay, he doesn't say it, but he should. Instead, he talks about how they have two challenges down and fourteen more to go, and it's only going to get tougher from here. Invisible Laurine interviews that she's intimidated by some of the other cheftestants because she graduated from culinary school long ago and she refused to give up her life in order to "be a rock star chef."
Jesse, Preeti, Laurine, and Ash hang out together outside and discuss how their room (the women of the group that is) is getting lonely since both who have been eliminated thus far were their roommates. I think I would move out. They also think that Eve was the nicest person there, even nicer than Ash. He totally agrees, and they joke that Ash is kind of a dick. Jesse interviews that she's been in the bottom for nearly every challenge so far, and she knows she's better than that, but she has to prove it to the judges. At some later point, everyone puts on their chef's coats and heads to the M Resort to begin the next challenge.
Quickfire Challenge. The cheftestants enter the kitchen and find Padma, Mark Peel (who I now know from Top Chef Masters ), and a mountain of all different varieties of potatoes. For those who didn't watch Masters , Mark Peel is a California chef who began his career as "vegetable boy" to Wolfgang Puck. I don't really want to think about what that means. Anyway, inspired by that task, the cheftestants have forty-five minutes to create an "out-of-this-world" potato dish. Jesse interviews that they have access to every kind of potato you could ever want. Padma calls time and they all rush over to the potato mountain (anyone hearing Neil Young in your head: "Born to live on potato mountain..."?).
Jen wants to do a potato sauce but forty-five minutes might not be long enough to cook potatoes. She grabs mussels and is concerned about the seasoning. Ron accents that he is like Bob Marley with music, and he wants his food to represent peace and love. Hopefully, it also represents yum and wow. Ash is going to make sweet potato ice cream, which makes sense I guess, but I like my ice cream traditional. One of the Voltaggio brothers is using some sort of blow torch. Jesse interviews that she thought of sweet potato soup, and she wants to make it spicy. Mike I. is cutting the potato into rice-sized pieces and cooking it like risotto and he lectures all of us that risotto is a style of cooking, and has nothing to do with rice. Shut up, dick. I know now why Mike is on this show instead of something where he might win his own cooking show -- he's an asshole and no one would watch his show. There are ways to teach people without being a jerk.
Preeti is making potatoes with asparagus because she likes the color combination. What about the flavor combination? Kevin offers to let her use his boiling water to blanch her asparagus since he's done with it. Preeti explains that she ran over to cut her asparagus, and apparently while she was doing that, Ashley put a pot of water on next to Kevin's. So of course, Preeti dumps her asparagus into Ashley's water. Ashley notices and is fairly even-keeled about it, considering, but basically tells Preeti to get her green vegetables out so Ashley can cook her gnocchi. Preeti overcompensates, and dumps out the vegetable water and starts a new pot to boil, which was dumb to do without asking Ashley first -- she may have been fine using the asparagus water since the vegetables were probably only in there for a few minutes and it could be the difference between Ashley finishing or not finishing her dish.
So then I don't know what the fuck happens but Ashley runs over to the sink and dumps out a pot of water (the one Preeti put on for her?) and maybe gets a smaller pot, thinking it will boil faster? I don't know. But she is cursing up a storm. I mean, it was an honest mistake, but I would be pretty pissed, because if she can't cook her gnocchi, she doesn't really have a dish. I thought her reaction was about right. She certainly didn't overreact, really. Jen interviews that Ashley was even nicer than she would have been, so there you go.
Ash is trying to get the ice cream maker to work, and he's running out of time. He actually calls the ice cream maker a "mother flower" which cracks me up. Jesse is worried that her soup is too spicy and not balanced, but she doesn't appear to do anything to change it. I don't know if she didn't have time or what, but I would think she could have added some cream or some broth or something to water it down a bit more, although that would have affected texture, I guess.
Time's up! Ash is up first with his chilled sweet potato custard with toasted pecans. It looks pretty soupy. Mark Peel likes the texture. Bryan made sunchoke & Yukon gold vichyssoise with applewood smoked caviar. Mark appreciates that it's not gluey. Preeti made saffron poached Russian banana fingerlings with asparagus and tomatoes. It's a very colorful plate, I'll give her that. Michael V. made a confit tuna and potato sandwich. Mark thinks it's a bit underdone but the flavor balance is great. Jen made potatoes three ways: steamed mussels, Yukon gold and blue potatoes with lemongrass potato sauce. Padma says it's very nice.
Deep breath! There are still a lot of contestants! Robin (who, if not for winning that chip in the first episode would be almost as invisible as Invisible Laurine so far) made purple and fingerling potatoes, white yams with pancetta, frisee and fried egg. That seems like a lot going on. Hector made steamed sweet potato with fish sauce and lime, and it kind of looks like an orange toasted marshmallow. He added purple potatoes and ham, which looks like a purple sponge, and then smashed fingerlings with yeast, yellow chile, slow-cooked eggs, and cream. I think he would have been better off focusing on one great dish for a Quickfire. That's a bit much.
Invisible Laurine made a vegetarian potato burger with a portabella mushroom bun and fingerling chips. Mark loves the chips. Mattin made poached cod with blue, Yukon, and sweet potato purees. I'm so over the purees, and this really looks like a bunch of baby food. If this showed up on my table at a restaurant, I don't think I'd want to eat it. Kevin made bacon-braised yam with potato sauce, asparagus, mushroom, and cauliflower. He has a detailed explanation of why he chose the vegetables he chose, so a lot of thought went into it. Mike I. made a potato risotto with king crab and mascarpone. Mark thinks it's a little salty but Padma likes the idea. Ashley made potato gnocchi with Hen of the Woods mushrooms and ricotta. After all that drama, I guess Ashley's dish got cooked in time. She made the ricotta cheese herself. Ashley's hair is either super sweaty or super greasy and it's really grossing me out and making me never want to eat her food.
Eli went Southern and made a yam puree with pistachios, whipped bliss, and bourbon maple syrup. Even though Eli used shelled pistachios, Padma still gets a shell in her bite, and Eli knows that probably killed him. Ron made sweet potato crusted yellowtail with fennel and leek stew. Mark likes the side dish a lot. Jesse made a sweet potato soup with ginger, brown sugar, and cayenne pepper. Mark likes the texture and color, but it's really spicy. I just figured out who Jessie totally reminds me of, and no one but me is going to get this reference -- she is totally Katie from the second season of The Mole , right down to her mannerisms.
The cheftestants gather and Mark explains that since he competed in Masters, he understands how difficult it is to work against the clock. Mark's least favorites included Eli, because his dish was too sweet, Ron, because the bland yam covered an overcooked fish, and Jesse, because her soup was too spicy. Mark's favorites were Jen's mussels, Ash's custard (he's shocked), and Ashley's gnocchi (eat it, Preeti). The winner is the person that Mark felt found "the essence of the potato," which is Jen. Mike I. interviews that her win is "favoritism," somehow forgetting that it's ridiculous to cry favoritism when there have been a variety of different judges who have all ruled in her favor. It's not like one judge kept picking her over and over because he thinks she's cute. God, I hope that prick gets his comeuppance. Jen gets immunity in the elimination challenge, so she's happy.
Elimination Challenge. Padma says that they have a special guest, and a military dude strolls into the kitchen. Padma introduces him as Colonel Dave Belote, Commander of the 99th Air Base Wing at Nellis Air Force Base. The Colonel orders the chefs to report to Nellis, home of the Thunderbirds, and create a meal for three hundred airmen. He explains that many of them just returned from being deployed and many are about to be deployed, and due to their travels, they have discerning ingredients. Michael V. interviews that his younger sister is in the Air Force, so he's especially psyched about this challenge. Okay, that's a connection that makes sense. You'll see that these connections get lamer and lamer as time goes on. Padma adds in the twist: the cheftestants will work as a team, and they won't find out their ingredients or cooking equipment until they report to the base tomorrow. Sweaty Ashley is honored to cook for the military. It's interesting that either she didn't bring up "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," or the editors chose not to feature it as a storyline like they did with her gay marriage issue last week. Maybe part of the deal when the Air Force signed on was that Bravo wouldn't air any criticism of the military by the cheftestants, because this whole episode seems pretty gung ho military. I personally am fine with that, but I know a lot of people who don't feel that way, so it seemed kind of odd.
As soon as they get back to the house, the cheftestants gather to discuss strategy. Mike I. presents an idea that a bunch of them have allegedly been discussing: since they have fifteen people, they will have one person serve as a tournand or general assistant, and then everyone else pairs up and works on one dish as a pair. He nominates Jen to work alone since she has immunity so it doesn't really matter if she makes a dish or not. So he kind of wants to relegate her to a gopher, because he's totally threatened by her. Rather than get all argumentative about it, Jen just seems to decide to make the role her own once she gets in the kitchen, which is wise. Mike I. invites people to speak up if they disagree with the strategy or if they disagree with cooking an American theme. No one says anything, so they pick teams.
We aren't privy to the process of how the group decides who gets to pick first, and it probably doesn't matter since nearly everyone is okay with his or her partner. Preeti picks Invisible Laurine because they both cook California cuisine. Eli and Kevin pair up because they know each other from Atlanta and Kevin adds that they "bond on a fat kid level as well." Love Kevin. Mike I. and Mike V. pair up even though Mike V. admits that he'd like to work with his brother. Bryan chooses Mattin and that leaves Ron and Jesse together. Laurine points out in an interview that they have been "the weakest two" thus far. They didn't detail a few pairings there, so I guess we can be confident that they won't be in the top or bottom.
The next morning, Robin explains that they had to get up early since they'd be serving the meal at noon and had four hours prep time, plus primping time, plus travel time. The cheftestants arrive in the kitchen and find what looks like a Dharma food drop: lots of canned foods and dried goods. Of course, the cheftestants aren't happy, and even less so when they see the cooking equipment. There are not many pans and no burners or stovetops.
They shortly find the walk-ins and find the proteins and the produce. Kevin interviews that he was in ROTC in high school, and has cooked in a military kitchen before, so he's not all that shocked by the accommodations. The pairs quickly get to deciding what to cook and Jen as the "executive chef" (love how she just bumped herself up like three levels) coordinates all the dishes, presumably making sure that no one is repeating a dish. When others start bitching about the equipment, Mike V. points out that the military cooks do it every day, so they can make it work one time. I didn't like Mike V. at the beginning, but he's growing on me. He's a better chef than I gave him credit for. And yet, he's friends with Mike I. and he did that boob thing in the first challenge. It's so hard.
Head scratcher of the week. Preeti says that she knew she wanted to be a chef on 9/11. Whuh? I mean, if she had explained that she was doing something she didn't love and the experience convinced her that life is short and she should follow her passion, that might have made sense. But the way she phrased it, it just sounded like she was inspired to cook in the same way that others were inspired to join the military or volunteer, and it just doesn't follow. The more Preeti is on this show, the more I'm convinced that she's kind of a weirdo. Especially since it took her two years after 9/11 to actually go to culinary school.
Mike V. has decided to make a braised pork belly with crushed peanuts. Apparently he doesn't need any help, and that leaves Mike I. with nothing to do, so he decides to "bang out a salad." And that's about how much thought he apparently put into his Greek shrimp salad. It's one thing to round out a menu with kind of a throwaway dish that fills a gap, but when you've being judged on what you make, you might want to put some effort in there. Bryan reminds us that he's Mike's brother, so that means it's also his sister in the Air Force, so that's his connection. He seems to be taking charge of his partnership with Mattin.
Eli and Kevin are doing barbecued pork, and Kevin interviews how happy he is to cook Southern food. Ron and Jesse decide to make clam chowder. Jesse says that she likes the idea because it sounds easy. Should you pick what sounds easy when you're trying to impress the judges? I don't know. Ron is some kind of chowder prize winner, even though he knows that it's risky to make chowder on a hot day.
Hector and Robin are making a chicken three bean chili. Hector explains that it makes sense to serve hot, spicy food on a hot day because it makes you sweat and cools you off. Ash and Ashley are making some sort of chocolate and peanut butter bread pudding, which sounds crazy rich (and with the number of eggs they are cracking, it must be) but God bless. I still wish Ashley would wash her hair. I guess that makes me old. Ash is trying to make custard in a wok, and he interviews about his many family members who have served, so that's his connection.
Okay. Preeti and Invisible Laurine are making a farfalle pasta salad. That's a fancy way of saying bowtie pasta. That's what my aunt makes for our summer picnics. So I assume they would be doing something fancy with it, like adding a fancy dressing or...I don't know. I don't know how you would make a pasta salad more complex and still keep it American style. They don't seem concerned, though.
Jesse brings up the fact that there's nowhere to cook and Laurine and Preeti are using the one skillet in the whole kitchen to blanch or stir fry their vegetables. Ron interviews that they kind of had to take one for the team, but "take one for the team" doesn't mean "not finish your dish." Mattin reminds Laurine that he needs the skillet next to cook his béchamel. Jen tries to coordinate the timing and the equipment, and seems to be doing a kick-ass job. Jen interviews that she's fair yet strict in the kitchen, and she won't let people get away with crap. As Jen checks in with one of the Voltaggios about his dish, she overhears Hector telling Jesse some bullshit story about a brewery. You can tell Jessie is only half-listening and also trying to figure out when she's going to cook her chowder. Jen walks over and tells Hector to focus on cooking and have the side conversations later. Awesome. Love her.
So now Mattin is working on his béchamel and Jesse needs to cook. Jen walks over and says that they can use the wok right now, and I'm not sure why they can't reduce their cream in the wok, but Ron decides they can't, and they're better off waiting for the skillet. Not sure what the big difference is there, but okay. There are only thirty minutes left and everyone frantically packs up food to be transported to the dining area. Everyone finishes on time! Yay!
The cheftestants are transported via convoy to a giant hangar that looks all polished and shiny. Jen helps to figure out how to set up the buffets, and she decides on two rows that are identical to get people through the line faster. Ash and Ashley realize that they don't have a lot of complicated plating to do, so they volunteer to help with refills and utensils and whatnot.
Preeti and Invisible Laurine uncover their pasta salad and realize that the pasta is still warm and it's expanding. That also means that it's absorbing any dressing so the salad is going to dry out more quickly, and the pasta is going to be mushy and overcooked. And the flavors will be really strong. That's why you're supposed to shock the pasta in cold water after cooking; so that the pasta stops cooking and won't get all mushy. Preeti and Invisible Laurine don't seem all that concerned. Well, Laurine looks mildly concerned and Preeti seems to think it's an advantage. She interviews that she is worried that their dish is too simple compared to the others.
Eli expresses some concern that Ron and Jesse are serving chowder on such a hot day. Mike V. has to go show Mike I. how to plate his dish, since it involves putting a piece of pork in a romaine lettuce leaf. Jen suggests building the "taco" in advance, but Mike V. doesn't want that and explains exactly what he does want. Since it's his dish, they all just kind of agree with him.
The judges arrive with Colonel Belote and Mark Peel, and then the troops arrive. I don't know what Padma is wearing. It's a leopard print mini-dress that would seem more appropriate for the cocktail lounge than a noon luncheon in a hangar. Oh, Padma. Incapable of just wearing casual Friday clothes, apparently.
The troops start heading through the line, and apparently their family members have been invited as well as there are people out of uniform and kids and whatnot. There are a few more various speeches about what an honor it is to serve this group. Finally the judges start going through the line, and we get a list of dishes as follows:
Mike I. (I'm listing him alone because they didn't really work as a team): Greek salad with cucumbers, chickpeas, olives, and olive-oil poached shrimp
Preeti and Laurine: Pasta salad with broccoli, peppers, sun-dried tomatoes, and artichoke hearts
Jesse and Ron: New England clam chowder with roasted corn
Hector and Robin: Three-bean chili with roasted chicken
Eli and Kevin: Georgia-style braised pork shoulder and potato salad
Mike V.: Braised pork belly with soy-mustard sauce and peanuts
Bryan and Mattin: Roasted beef strip loin with mushroom demi-glace and cauliflower gratin
So apparently they're going to have dessert later. The judges sit down and discuss how difficult it is to cook for such a huge crowd. The judges think the beef strip is good, but they think the pasta salad is too salty and uninspired. Seriously. I could come up with that recipe, and I'm not very creative and tend to just make things I've eaten before. The chicken chili has "authentic flavors," and a bunch of the airmen agree. The chowder is good, and Padma wonders about eating it in the heat. Tom points out that they're eating chili too but Gail thinks there's a difference between spicy food and heavy foods made with cream. I tend to agree, although you can make lighter chowder. Doesn't sound like they did that, though.
Everyone is in love with the Southern braised pork and potato salad, and Mark Peel can't give enough praise to how much it tastes like something he would eat at home. One of the troops refers to Mike V's dish as "a whole lot of scrumptiousness wrapped up in lettuce" and Colicchio is awed that they thought of braising what is essentially a slab of bacon. The judges are puzzled that the same team produced the Greek salad, since that kind of sucks. Obviously, they don't know yet that the team members worked alone on each dish.
The judges get to the bread pudding. They think it's a little dry, but it tastes good and rich. And they all agree that Jen did really well as executive chef. I wish they had talked more about that; it seems like it was a difficult role to take on, and she did it with grace. Wow, I might have kind of a girl crush on her. Overall, the judges are impressed with the dishes, and you do have to admire how much higher the skill level is this season than last. I mean, only the pasta salad stood out as poor, and that was more because of a lack of imagination and not a lack of technique.
The chefs clean up and kind of discuss amongst themselves how they did. Jesse interviews her concerns about serving chowder on a hot day, and how she would have liked to make gazpacho but there was no blender. Eli whispers to Kevin that their flavors were spot on, and you can't say that about all the dishes. Eli seems kind of calculating where Kevin just kind of seems like, "I'm going to cook the best food I can and let the chips fall where they may."
Colonel Belote gets everyone's attention and introduces some of the service men and women and gives a little bit of their stories. Everyone is touched and honored by the real sacrifices made. I don't mean to sound like I take it lightly, but this episode did kind of hammer you over the head a little bit and it almost reduces the impact of what these people have done and will do for us.
Judges' Table. Ash finally offers an alternative viewpoint when he says that he's a pacifist who opposes war and yet he was touched by what he saw. Which isn't really an alternative viewpoint but I was starting to think this episode was sponsored by the Pentagon or something. Padma walks into the Stew Room and asks to see the two Mikes as well as Eli and Kevin. Well, you know they are the tops, although the cheftestants probably don't yet.
Padma tells the two teams that they were tops. Eli talks about their dish, and Gail asks whose idea it was to use the flavors used. Kevin says that his family does competition barbecue and so this was a recipe they use at times when time is short. Wow, I didn't even think about the fact that usually barbecued pork is slow cooked over many, many hours and sometimes even days, and they pulled it off in four hours.
Colicchio has lots of questions about the braised bacon slab, and then asks the Mikes if they had an advantage because they worked together before the competition. Mike V. says they might have and when describing how they created their food, he reveals that they pretty much each worked on their own dish. Tom and Gail share a look like, "Huh. That Greek salad kind of sucked and Mike I. had nothing to do with the awesome pork dish. Interesting." Mike I. doesn't know when to shut up and keeps going on about his stupid salad, which even he admits was thrown together last minute with no thought. The judges reserve comment for the moment, and let Mark announce the winner of this challenge: Michael Voltaggio. Well, that certainly makes the pairs thing easier when they just admitted that Michael V. was the only one who even touched the winning dish.
Padma tells them to send in Preeti and Laurine and asks Mike I. to return with the losers. He's surprised, and interviews that he's livid right now because he was in the winner's bracket. When he announces it in the Stew Room, they are surprised as well, but I am loving it! Once they are out there, Colicchio says that it was a team challenge, and he notes that Mike I. seems pissed more than disappointed. Mike I. still doesn't get it and says that when he saw his partner had the dish under control, he decided to do something else to help the team. He doesn't seem to get that he's not being punished for making his own dish; he's being punished because the dish that he made sucked balls. Mark Peel totally steps up and grouchily says that the dish was bland and the shrimp were undercooked. Mike I. stutters that he wasn't sure about serving it himself and Padma busts in, "Then you shouldn't have served it." Ha! Padma! Man, the judges are on fire tonight. I feel like there was a lot more of Mike I's bitchfest than what we were shown, because the judges are downright prickly towards him.
Gail explains that they can only judge the food they were given, and the Greek salad didn't have any acid or flavor. Wow, I really think Mike I. put up more of a fight because the judges are not usually this defensive. Maybe I'm biased because I kind of hate the dude. Anyway, Mike I. finally says that he's angry at himself and he won't stumble again.
Colicchio moves on to Preeti and Laurine. He wants to know who originally came up with the idea to make pasta salad. They both refuse to throw the other to the wolves, even though Colicchio presses them. Laurine does admit that their ingredients were not the best, and she would have rather had fresh than canned, but Colicchio points out that they all had the same pantry to work from. Preeti thought the dish was good and flavorful and Colicchio is puzzled. She asks if clam chowder on a hot day is more inventive, and Colicchio says it's not but it was a better version of chowder than their version of pasta salad. Ouch. This is a nasty one. Laurine doesn't think the pasta salad was a winning dish, but it did satisfy a niche in the menu, and she kind of forgot it was a competition. She immediately realizes how dumb that sounds and tries to backtrack. Mark wants them to decide which chef is better of the two, and neither will say anything, which is probably smart, but oh, so uncomfortable to watch. Padma offers to let them both go home and Preeti says they should both stay. Padma's like, "Uh, no." Colicchio feels like they each just want to get by and not win, because they're not going big. Finally, FINALLY, Padma dismisses them.
The judges discuss what to do. Tom hated both losing dishes so he doesn't know what to do. They still don't know who came up with the idea of pasta salad. Mark points out that the pasta salad had no flavor. Colicchio noticed that Laurine had some awareness that her dish was lame, but Preeti thought it was awesome. Gail is mad that Laurine had awareness and didn't change anything, but Colicchio points out that Preeti should be embarrassed that she stood behind that lame dish. They all noticed Mike's palpable anger, and Mark thought he might even throw a punch. Gail and Padma point out that his dish was flavorless and unappealing, and they weren't required to work in pairs. That was something the cheftestants decided on their own. Back in the Stew Room, Mike is at least able to laugh about how angry he was in front of the judges.
The judges call Preeti, Laurine, and Mike back in. Colicchio says that the food was good today for the most part, but the people standing there produced the worst dishes. Mike's dish was a throwaway, which won't cut it in this competition. Preeti and Laurine produced an uninspired dish, and Preeti doesn't get that while Laurine did, and should have done something about it earlier. Padma tells Preeti to pack her knives and go. Preeti points out in her exit speech that this competition is a lot stiffer this season than in previous seasons, which I think is true. But she still made my aunt's pasta salad in a competition of elite chefs.
Watch Preeti's exclusive exit interview video.
Discuss this episode in our forums , then see why vloggers Val and Beth think that tattoos and piercings are what makes a chef truly great in TV is the Answer .