You Know What Madonna’s Breath Smells Like?

"GMA": Wow, Josh Elliott seemed to have a little too much fun rubbing that New Orleans playoff loss into the nose of diehard Saints fan Robin Roberts. I guess that's the kind of trash talk you sign up for when you hire a couple of ESPN jocks to host your morning show. (For comparison, Hoda and KLG think a "49er" is how many fluid ounces of wine you're allowed to have with breakfast.)

"Ellen": A quick word to the wise for you other older... err, I mean, more mature and musically diverse folks in Ellen's audience today: her musical guests "Big Time Rush" are NOT the same as the band that's just called "Rush". Big Time Rush is a bunch of uber-cute hunky-in-a-safe-way Disney boys who belt out sugary pop songs to swooning tweens, while letting just that one little perfect lock of hair fall in their faces while they sing. The other band called Rush consists of a bunch of wrinkly Canadians who write prog-rock songs like "Tom Sawyer" that the nerdy boys in high school used to air-drum to. No prob happy2help okthankxbai!

"Access Hollywood Live": Just in case you didn't know that Billy gets to interview huge stars all the time, he made sure to show a bunch of footage of him from the red carpet last night as a reminder. We get it Billy, you're the luckiest guy ever because you know what Madonna's breath smells like!

"The View": I was pretty bummed that I had to work today because most of my friends have the day off for the Martin Luther King holiday. But then I saw that Barbara Walters had to work, too, and that made me feel better. She takes like three days off a week so I'm pretty impressed she showed up today. But it's a good thing she was there to hear Piers Morgan complain about Madonna, who would want to miss that?!

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