Never Marry A Man Whose First Name Is The Same As Your Mother’s

"GMA": I saw a great clip today about Alicia Keys going back to her old high school for a visit, so I thought I'd stop by my old Alma Mater, too! But I got into trouble for wandering the halls (I was looking for my guidance counselor's office, so I could thank her for preparing me to host a TV show on the internet), when I got collared by security for skipping class. They sent me back to Trigonometry! But hey, at least I brushed up on my quadratic equations. And I finally got to sit with the cool kids at lunch! OMG, I can't believe what Jo-Lynn said about Alexis.

"The View": There was one thing about Kim Kardashian's relationship with Kris Humphries that I thought was really odd, I just never wanted to say anything. But today, the well-respected Barbara Walters took the words right out of my mouth when she said "I think the moral here is you never marry a man whose first name is the same as your mother's." I couldn't have said it better myself B!

"Access Hollywood Live": It's really sweet that Billy and Kit have taken Tareq Salahi under their wing to help him get back on his feet and out into the dating world. They've inspired him to work out, take the gray out of his hair, whiten his teeth and even get a new wardrobe! The only problem is, who is Tareq Salahi again?

"Ellen": Come on guys, you can't blame Eddie Murphy for using the occasional curse word... he's a master! That'd be like telling Picasso he couldn't use a paintbrush. I mean, do you really want to watch "Eddie Murphy: Cooked"? And admit it: it's just not as much fun to say, "I'm Gumby, Darnit!"


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