Yahoo! TV

'The Bachelorette' Recap: Hasta La Vista, Baby

Yahoo TV

View photo


Let's give Desiree some credit.

In the many "Bachelor" and "Bachelorette" seasons, we've seen contestants approach the lead to tell them about shenanigans going on behind their backs. And most of those times, the lead firmly keeps their starry-eyed blinders on. Look at how long Sean kept the Tierra-ist around just a few months ago!

After Des finds out what James said, she … well, she waffles, yes. She doesn't know what to believe. But eventually, she does the right thing and sends him packing.

[Related: 'The Bachelor's' Mike Fleiss, Chris Harrison Debut New Dating App

So, James didn't win Des and he isn't going to be the next "Bachelor" (unless hell and Twitter freeze over). Guess that "win-win" scenario didn't quite work out for him after all!

You're My Wonderwall

Des and the guys are now in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, Barcelona. Her first one-on-one date there is with pretty boy Drew, who's been reserved with Des so far. But beneath those striking Abercrombie & Fitch looks is a well of deep emotion. Over tapas, he tears up as he relates the story of his formerly alcoholic (and now cancer-stricken) father. Des is touched and feels closer to him already.

Later, they're about to have dinner in a secluded courtyard when Drew whisks her away. The cameramen dash to catch up with the pair, who are found making out in a dark alley. Muy caliente! Des likes this side of Drew — a lot. After kissing passionately in the alley for a while, she gives him a rose.

[Related: 'The Bachelorette's' Chris Harrison: Viewers Are Going to Fall for Drew]

But that's not to be the date's happy ending. Drew has something to tell her ... duh duh dunnnhhhh. It's about a conversation that both he and Kasey overheard in an unfilmed car ride a few days prior between James and Mikey (who was eliminated last week). Apparently, James said that if he made it to the top 4, he'd be in a very good position to be the next "Bachelor"!

Desiree is stunned.

Playing Footsie

After that bombshell, Des is reeling, but she still wants to enjoy her group date with Brooks, Chris, Kasey, Michael, James, and Juan Pablo. They head to the local futbol arena (soccer for us Americans), where the guys have to face off against Des and her team ... of female players.

Uh, piece of cake for the men, right? Wrong! Though they score a couple of goals quickly, the men are totally outclassed by the women. The worst player is James, who proves to be a total sissy as his team's goalkeeper.

During the evening portion of the date, Des makes sure to reconnect with Chris and Brooks (even reciting a poem for the former!). But she has a very important task on her agenda: confronting James about what she's heard.

We have to give it to the guy — he's a good talker. He makes excuses about how it was all Mikey's fault, and actually swears on his sick father that he didn't say those things. The guy even starts to cry!

Des clearly seems torn. She trusts Drew and Kasey, and yet she and James had such an amazing one-on-one date in New Jersey. She decides not to give out a group date rose and to table the James situation for the night.

Make Art, Not War

With this dark cloud hanging over her head, Des needs some fun and laughter and who better to give her that than Zak? He hasn't been our favorite, but the guy is starting to grow on us. Their one-on-one date is an artistic drawing session.

Zak may be outgoing and gregarious, but he's clearly not artistically talented. His terrible — and that doesn't even come close to describing it — sketch of Des makes her nearly ROTFL. Heck, we laughed for a good two minutes straight. Then, we laughed for another three minutes at Zak's expression upon seeing the nude male model.

Laughter really is the best medicine, and Des finally seems like her old self again. Later, during dinner in a romantic wine cellar, Zak describes that he's looking for a long-term marriage with adventure built in. That's what Desiree wants, too, and she gives him the rose.

Then, Zak admits to the camera that he's falling in love with Des. Sigh. It's never good to be the first one to be in love with "The Bachelor/ette." Then again, she's proven to be a bit of a maverick. Maybe Zak isn't doomed.

He Said, He Said

Host Chris Harrison announced earlier that there'd be no cocktail party, so the guys are just waiting around their hotel suite and the atmosphere is tense. Actually, it's beyond tense; it's excruciatingly uncomfortable.

Then, Des comes in and asks to talk to James. As she says in her confessional, she's ready to let him go. But oh, that James — he's really a very good talker. He assures her that he wants to stay, that he thinks she is amazing, and that she's everything he's ever looked for in a woman. He really lays the charm on thick, and it totally stumps her. Now, Des is confused. She doesn't kick him out as she planned and instead goes off to think about it some more.

The other guys are confused when James returns. Even nice guy Chris cannot deal. Things get even worse when James calls the situation a "win-win" — meaning, he either wins Desiree's hand or he becomes the next "Bachelor."

Chris is disgusted. Brooks comes out of his chillaxed coma to look annoyed. Kasey likens it to telling your current girlfriend that you're looking forward to the girls you'll date after her. James shrugs it all off and says he's done and said nothing wrong.

Rose Ceremony

The tenseness among the guys carries over to the rose ceremony. Seriously, we didn't think Chris could look so mad. Michael keeps shooting James dirty looks.

So, Drew and Zak both have roses. There are only three more, meaning three of the guys are leaving.

After some soul-searching, Des finally makes her decisions. She gives roses to Chris and Brooks (total locks) and … Michael! Interesting.

That means Juan Pablo, Kasey, and James are all going home.

(Juan Pablo for the next "Bachelor," anyone? Sure, he didn't make it the top 4, but he's hot, he's got a sexy accent, and, uh … he's hot.)

James seems stunned, though he must've had some inkling this could happen. And despite the fact that he's the size of a linebacker, he complains that he was bullied by the other guys. "Why me?" he sniffles as a car takes him away.

No doubt he'll soon say "why not me?" when they pick the next "Bachelor." Because it sure as hell isn't going to be him.

Check out reactions from Twitter, and the sound off in the comments below!

Watch the full episode:

"The Bachelorette" airs Mondays at 8 PM on ABC.

View Comments

Recommended for You

  • Jon Stewart Skewers Sean Hannity: "You're the Arby's of News"

    Jon Stewart's love of Sean Hannity is well documented. The two have a long, storied past together, but sometimes Hannity simply goes too far. "There is not much that I truly love in this world: my family, my country, my priceless collection of antique ceramic cats ... but above, all my heart…

    The Atlantic Wire
  • Matt's Inside Line: Scoop on Vampire Diaries, POI, Once, Arrow, The Mentalist, Big Bang and More

    Will a Vampire Diaries crush be acted upon? Which baddie is back for the S.H.I.E.L.D. finale? Will Arrow find himself in a father’s daze? Is “light and hope” ahead for Once Upon a Time‘s Rumbelle? Read on for answers to those […]
  • 2014 - Best Way to Cut Your Auto Insurance Bill!

    No DUI? Drive less than 100 miles a day? You qualify for the lowest possible insurance rates offered in the U.S. Compare up to 4 quotes in minutes.

    AdChoices Auto Insurance DiscountsSponsored
  • Inside Oprah’s Bizarre Love Triangle

    Winfrey’s stepmom gives an unfiltered Daily Mail interview about the former queen of daytime’s unusual relationship with her boyfriend—and even stranger one with her best friend.

    The Daily Beast (RSS)
  • Time Warner Cable Tops on Q1 Earnings, Lags Revs

    Time Warner Cable Inc. reported mixed financial results for the first quarter of 2014 where its bottom line surpassed the Zacks Consensus Estimate but the top missed the same.

  • Watch Stephen Colbert bid farewell to The Daily Show, as only Colbert can

    This is what we are learning about Stephen Colbert's departure from The Colbert Report, the show he has hosted for nine years: It will be a long farewell, and the character Stephen Colbert is already being written out of the script for the real Colbert's next act, hosting CBS Late Night.

    The Week (RSS)
  • In Upfronts, Big TV Nets’ Pricing Strength Is Threatened Yet Again

    In the next few weeks, Fox is expected to spotlight a series that plays off of the popular Batman character, CBS to talk up its new slate of Thursday-night football and NBC to promote its ongoing resurgence in reaching advertisers’ favorite viewers. The chatter may help the TV giants snare the…

  • Sam Register Upped To President Of Warner Bros. Animation, Will Head New Digital Unit

    Warner Bros Animation’s EVP Creative Affairs Sam Register has been promoted to President, Warner Bros Animation and Warner Digital Series. The second part of the title refers to Register’s role as head of a newly formed live-action digital content production unit where he will oversee the…
  • A's lineup: Gentry in center, Norris catching

    Programming note: Rangers-As coverage starts today at 12 p.m. with As Pregame Live on Comcast SportsNet California (Channel locations) And join Insider Joe Stiglich to chat during innings 2-4 of the game.

    Comcast SportsNet Bay Area
  • Sleep-Aid Takes America by Storm

    Discover a safe, natural sleep-aid that is helping people of all ages get the best sleep of their life.

    AdChoices Peak LifeSponsored
  • [video] Aereo v. the Networks: The Supreme Court Battle

    Aereo, the online-video startup, and television broadcasters have squared off at the U.S. Supreme Court. It's a battle over copyright law that could shake up the industry. Why do the networks want to kill ...

  • Play

    How Cameron Diaz Pranked Fallon’s Baby

    Wednesday on "The Tonight Show," Jimmy Fallon called out Cameron Diaz for pranking his infant daughter. Diaz was hanging out with the Fallon’s and their then 6-week-old named Winnie Rose. Once Winnie had fallen asleep, Diaz placed the child’s hand in a glass of warm water! According to Diaz, since…

    Nighttime in No Time Videos
  • Could A Ruling Against Aereo Kill The Cloud?

    U.S. Supreme Court justices Tuesday seemed to be wondering aloud whether the case against startup Aereo was also linked to cloud computing. The Associated Press reported Justice Stephen Breyer saying, ...

  • ITV Studios UK Hires Discovery Intl Exec Julian Bellamy As Managing Director

    ITV Studios UK has moved quickly to fill the Managing Director post that will be vacated by Denise O’Donoghue at the end of 2014. Julian Bellamy, who is currently Discovery Networks International Creative Director and Head of Commissioning, will take over from O’Donoghue later this year, ITV said…
  • View

    '24: Live Another Day' (44 photos)

    Four years ago, Jack Bauer was a fugitive from justice. Now an exile, he nevertheless is willing to risk his life and freedom to avert yet another global disaster. The harrowing day will have Jack attempting to thwart an unthinkable terrorist attack that could change the world forever. "24: Live…

    Yahoo TV
  • LIVE: Rangers vs. A's

    Tommy Milone and the A's look to take Game 2 of the three-game set. Watch on Comcast SportsNet Plus and follow along with In-Game Live..

    Comcast SportsNet Bay Area
  • Great Time To Buy or Refi A Home

    Rates are low and lenders are eager to win your business. Compare rates now

    AdChoices LendingTreeSponsored
  • Brean Capital Sees Wisdom in Time Warner Cable Deal

    In a report published Wednesday, Brean Capital analyst Todd Mitchell reiterated a Buy rating and $165.00 price target on Time Warner Cable (NYSE: TWC ). In the report, Brean Capital noted, “Comcast 1Q14 ...

  • WATCH LIVE: NASCAR AMERICA at 5 pm ET – Hamlin, recap first 8 races, Richmond nuances, Virginia racing history

    As the NASCAR world returns from its Easter break, Wednesday on NASCAR AMERICA we start our in-depth focus on this Saturday's race at Richmond International Raceway. Leigh Diffey and Wally Dallenbach will host from our Stamford, Conn., studios. Remember to tune in at at 5 p.m. ET on NBCSN and NBC…

    NBC Sports
  • Amazon to get exclusive right to some HBO series and HBO have signed a multiyear deal to give Amazon Prime the exclusive rights to air some HBO series.

  • Why Women Love 'Deadliest Catch'

    Captain Keith Colburn explains the show's female following and reveals the scariest moment he's ever had at sea

    Daily Shot
  • Arrow Recap: A Mother Of a Twist (Times Three)

    The following recap, by the very definition of the word “recap,” contains spoilers from this week’s Arrow. The CW’s Arrow this Wednesday uncorked one mother of a twist after another — one that made you go, “Huh,” one where you […]
  • Play

    Kiss Can't Cheer up Grumpy Cat

    Wednesday on "American Idol," the adorable internet sensation Grumpy Cat made an appearance, and we haven't seen a face that angry on AI since Minaj sat next to Mariah! Grumpy Cat (who is actually named Tardar Sauce) was paraded around by Ryan Seacrest, brought to the judges table for selfies, and…

    Prime Time In No Time Videos
  • 74-Yr-Old Outsmarts Doctors. Reduces Her Wrinkles.

    The ultimate skin tightening regimen that is helping every day women achieve younger looking skin without breaking the bank.

    AdChoices LifeCellSkinSponsored