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John Goodman Gets Lucky on 13th 'Saturday Night Live'

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Taran Killam and host John Goodman on Saturday Night Live.

John Goodman hosted "Saturday Night Live" for the 13th time, trailing only Alec Baldwin (16) and Steve Martin (15), and he brought some heavy-hitters with him. Sylvester Stallone and Robert De Niro showed up to do "Three Wise Guys" on their way to Bethlehem, decked out in gold chains, tracksuits and thick Jersey accents. "Do we even know his last name, this Jesus?" says Goodman. "Christ, I dunno," shoots back De Niro.


While it's always great to have unannounced cameos on the show, they're always a reminder of how hard the job of an "SNL" cast member is. Can you imagine if the entire show were filled with those deadly long pauses as the guests search for their cue cards?

The Cold Open
You know it's a slow news week when the only thing President Obama's detractors have to complain about is taking pictures with the Danish prime minister. Kenan Thompson starring as the gibberish sign language interpreter from Mandela's funeral and the return of Kate McKinnon's gleefully needy Angela Merkel make for a perfectly enjoyable first sketch.

The Monologue
 It was shades of the Blues Brothers (Goodman co-starred with Dan Akroyd in "Blues Brothers 2000," taking over for the late John Belushi) as Goodman and Thompson do a song called "All I Want for Christmas Is Booty." It was fine, but please, please, please, please, please don't let this lead to someone green-lighting another sequel.

"Too Hot"
Goodman did five cameos in the late '90s as Linda Tripp, playing her as a grotesquely, mannish woman that stole every Clinton-Lewinsky scene she appeared in. So you would be a fool not to put him back into a dress and let him slink his way through R. Kelly's "I'm a Flirt."

Drunk Uncle and Drunker Uncle
It's always fun to bring someone else in on the Drunk Uncle fun — remember Peter Drunklage? Goodman's Drunker Uncle is a fantastic addition to the family. Also, somebody needs to turn that medley of "Frosty the Snowman"/"Royals"/"Carol of the Bells" into a dance remix ASAP.
Network Holidays
These were two spot-on commercials for the Food Network and the Hallmark Channel. "Guy Fieri's Full Throttle Christmas Special" is crammed full of the dregs of bro culture: Kid Rock, Criss Angel, Dog the Bounty Hunter. And on the other end of the spectrum, bland has-been celebrity heavy TV movies like "Phylicia Rashād's Christmas Nap" and "On Dasher, On Danza" reminded us what the season is really about: Watching TV to avoid talking to the family.


The Last Sketch
The final slot before the goodnights should be saved for "so bad, they're good" sketches. For example, a sketch about the last two people at the bar who are so repulsed by each other — but so desperate — that they have to spray whipped cream on each other's facial hair and pretend that they're Santa Claus just to make out. This sketch is terrible and also it's the best.

Other Great Lines:
"And for dessert, we're gonna turn this fruitcake into a straightcake! It's just bacon and cars!"
"I'm gonna hide in a dry cleaning bag!"
"Looks like we just lady and tramped a peanut."

 

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