The Top 25 Greatest Real Housewives Ever: A Definitive Ranking

With the new season of Real Housewives of Atlanta's now underway, and the new season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills coming Nov. 18, we deicided it was time to rank the 25 greatest Housewives in the franchise's history.

 

25. Aviva Drescher's Prosthetic Leg (New York City): No explanation needed.

 

24. Brandi Glanville (Beverly Hills): The leggy model (whose ex-husband Eddie Cibrian left her for LeAnn Rimes) first hobbled into the scene in Season 3 (literally hobbled, she was on crutches). Since then, Brandi’s loose lips (mostly from drinking too much wine) have gotten her into some of the most famous blowouts in the show’s history. "At least I’m not doing Crystal Meth in the bathroom!"

 

23. Yolanda Foster (BH): What Would Yolanda Do? The Dutch super-Housewife and former model has a very no-B.S. approach to drama. She doesn’t have time for it! We wouldn’t either if we lived in a sprawling Malibu mansion, complete with lemon tree groves and a transparent refrigerator that could fit three people. 

 

22. Dina Manzo (New Jersey): Her first opening tagline in Season 1 was: "If you think I’m a bitch then bring it on." Dina certainly maintained that attitude throughout, especially with her feud with Danielle Staub. Thank goodness for us, Dina returned to RHoNJ for Season 7.

 

21. Phaedra Parks (Atlanta): The "attorney to stars"-turned-mortician is a true Southern Belle (according to herself) and has some of the best shady one-liners in Housewives history. Phaedra (about Kim Zolciak): "A wig does not count as a hat, honey."

 

20. Kandi Burruss (ATL): The last bastion of sanity on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kandi is probably the most genuine and upfront of any of the Housewives. She also wrote some of the biggest pop songs of the last 20 years. Do "Bills, Bills, Bills," and "No Scrubs" ring a bell?

 

19. Jeana Keough (Orange County): The former Amazonian Playboy model always kept it real (sometimes too real) with her marital problems. Her "cease and desist" poolside brawl with Tamra will never not be iconic.

 

18. Sonja Morgan (NYC): Sonja was 30 years too late to star in Grey Gardens, but the former Mrs. JP Morgan channels Little Edie Beale pretty hard in every episode. Just with more booze.

 

17. Jill Zarin (NYC): "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" Jill's infamous, nasally salutation could be heard up and down 5th Avenue. The ultimate Yenta's claws came out when former BFF Bethenny Frankel started coming up from under her, and their fallout was as painful to watch as it was compelling.

 

16. Sheree Whitfield (ATL): The world may never know the true potential of She by Sheree Designs, or even the palatial splendor of Chateau Sheree, but Whitfield's stint on RHoA provided us with some of the most iconic moments in the franchise, most notably "Who gon check me, boo?"

 

15. Tamra Judge (née Barney) (OC): Shrewd? Check. Personal hangups about her sliiiightly white trash upbringing? Check. Crying in corners? Check. NO qualms about tossing drinks in another woman’s face? Check. All these blend together and make a delcious smoothie of quality television. Tamra, never change.

 

14. Kim Richards (BH): The rapsy and wobbly former child actress (and sister of cast mate Kyle) — who's forever fighting through blowing white bed sheets on a clothesline — has provided some of the greatest quotes in Housewives history due in part to her pre-sober lifestyle. "I’m an Arabian horse," "I’m a Marlin fisher," "You stole my goddamn house!" and "I'm gonna have another baby!" [said waving a high heel in sister Kyle's face] are among some of her greatest Kim-isms.

(Side note: Kim is my undisputed favorite, and in my perfect world she would have the No. 1 spot. But even I know she's too tragic to crack the top 10.)

 

13. Kelly Killoren Bensimon (NYC): One of our first glimpses of Kelly was the former model running down the middle of 5th Avenue during rush hour traffic with seemingly NO awareness of the honking horns behind her. Kelly had a whirlwind stint on Housewives, from her famous fight with Bethenny ("I’m up here, and you’re down here") to her nervous "breakthrough" on Scary Island.

 

12. Lisa Vanderpump (BH): For the first few seasons, the eternally magenta restauranteur — who was born in a pool of Rosé — had been able to hide her serpent-like true self behind a facade of British wit and charm. But as of late, she's become the real villain of the show. Plus, without Lisa, we wouldn’t have Vanderpump Rules.

 

11. Danielle Staub (NJ): Real Housewives of NJ was at its best when the paranoid former model, alleged cocaine dealer, alleged kidnapper, verified name changer (who has been engaged 19 times), was mixing things up. In Danielle's dark, dark world, her cast mates (aka "Those women") were always trying to kill her, and it was pretty delightful to watch.

 

10. Kyle Richards (BH): The former child star (and Paris Hilton’s aunt) is probably the most consistent and relatable Housewife. She stirs drama (tastefully), is not afraid to call bulls--t ("You’re such a f--king liar, Camille!"), has adorable daughters (Portia) and the hottest husband out of any of the franchises (Mauricio, we love you).

 

9. Caroline Manzo (NJ): The red-haired matriarch talks like she's starring in a lame, Lifetime original movie about a mafia family, but no one can dispute the chills they get when Caroline declares, "My family is THICK as THIEVES."

 

8. Teresa Giudice (NJ): Sure, she helped her husband Joe defraud the IRS out of millions and millions of dollars, and sure, she's going to jail in Jan. 2015 for 15 months, but "Tre" has provided us with some of the best moments in reality television. Table flip, anyone? And don't forget: NO prostitution ho-wahs.


7. (Queen) Camille Grammer (BH): The former Club MTV dancer went from being the most hated Housewife (thanks to her obnoxious, monstrously snobby quips in season 1) to one of the most beloved, righteous cast members in the next few seasons, in the wake of her very public divorce from Kelsey Grammer. Dance on, Camille.

 

6. Countess LuAnn De Lesseps (NYC): Manhattan's favorite (and only) Countess (also a former nurse) with the deep, cigarette-stained voice and legs for days has given us daily lessons in class, and "smash" singles like "Money Can’t Buy You Class" and "Chic C'est La Vie."

 

5. Ramona Singer (NYC): The Queen Bee of the NYC cast, Ramona wields her Pinot Grigio-soaked kingdom with an iron fist. Ramona is the most erratic Housewife — one moment speaking in sweet coos, the next moment shrieking and throwing things with violently wide eyes. May we never know the full wrath of Turtle Time.

 

4. Kim Zolciak (ATL): The cig-smoking, wine-drinkin', Big Poppa money-spending former nurse with a penchant for large blond wigs created the unfortunate Housewife-pop music genre with her single "Tardy for the Party" (also the name of her spinoff show). She's reformed her ways now that she’s married to NFL star Kroy Biermann and has six kids, but Big Poppa-era Kim will be in our hearts forever.

 

3. Bethenny Frankel (NYC): She was the ultimate underdog; the witty, self-deprecating, emotionally scarred and eternally-single lady who turned her stint on Housewives into the Skinny Girl cocktail empire, which she sold for $120 million.

 

2. Vicki Gunvalson (OC): The OG Housewife. The white wine-induced drama, the brutal confessional shade, and that wonderfully, terrifying Housewives cryface... Vicki invented it all. She should also probably trademark her famous "Woo-hoo!"


1. NeNe Leakes (Atlanta): There’s not much to say about Linnethia Monique "NeNe" Leakes, other than that she is a VERY rich, bitch. She's turned her scene-stealing sass into a multi-million dollar brand, landing high-profile roles on Glee and The New Normal, and she's now starring in Broadway's Cinderella. Nene, you truly are The Joneses.

Getty Images
Getty Images

 

And now for a few honorable (dishonorable?) mentions:

* Rosie Pierri (NJ)

Elsa "Mama Elsa la Bruja" Patton (Miami)

The Morally Corrupt Faye Resnick (BH)

Allison Dubois's electronic cigarette (BH)

* Dana Wilkey using a restaurant candle to light a cigarette (BH)

* Giggy the Pom (BH)

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premieres Tuesday, Nov. 18 at 9 p.m. on Bravo.

 

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