The second half of "Kim's Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event" aired Monday night, and provided enough drama to keep us guessing whether Humphries -- whose ego was bruised by Kardashian's decision to keep her last name -- would ditch the reality star at the altar. (He doesn't, of course, as the many post-wedding photos have proven.) When his soon-to-be bride -- who kept comparing herself to the late, multiply-married Elizabeth Taylor -- declined to become "Kim Humphries," the New Jersey Nets player snapped: "I just think you let your family make decisions for you. ... You're 30 years old, grow up. Grow up."
Well, that wasn't very nice.
"I feel like I'm just a roadblock to Kim's perfect wedding," he told Kardashian, adding: "For years you sold clothes in the Valley."
Ouch. Did someone feed him that line?
The outspoken Humphries, 26, also clashed with Khloe Kardashian, who thought he was rude and undeserving of her sister's love. (Not everyone likes Kris. Some people revile him. Kim gets annoyed at his obnoxious barking habit.) In the end, the Funny Sister (that would be Khloe) sucked it up and showed up to the bachelorette party in Vegas and stood up for the over-the-top wedding at a palatial estate in California.
By Aug. 20 -- the Big Day -- all tension had evaporated between Humphries and Kardashian. He bought her a Taylor-esque diamond bracelet. He also shaved his mustache as a symbolic gesture before taking the plunge into a life of Kardashian, Inc., where the women dominate the men (and the men have little say in business and personal matters.)
"Oh god. I'm gonna have a breakdown," he joked to a groomsman. Then Kardashian -- wearing the first of THREE Vera Wang wedding gowns -- made her bridal entrance with Bruce Jenner on her arm, and Humphries nerves melted away.
Other highlights from E!'s "Kardashian Event":
*Matriarch and momager Kris Jenner pitching Kardashian on a new line of "Hump" products she wants to launch including "The Hump Rope" to "build your booty" and a line of "Hump" butt pads. Also, a "Hump" fragrance.
*Bruce Jenner consoling stepdaughter Kim when she gets emotional about her late father, Robert Kardashian. "I think your dad would love Kris. I think Kris is a really good person," said Jenner, who later confessed to wife Kris that he's closer with his stepchildren than he is with his biological kids.
*Mason Disick, who turns 2 in December, running down the aisle to present the couple with their rings. That's an adorable kid, right there.
In case you missed the E! broadcast of the Humphries-Kardashian nuptials, here's a taste of the opulent event:
- Kim Kardashian