‘American Horror Story: Asylum’: 5 unlikely Hollywood crossovers to balance the darkness

Yahoo Contributor Network

It seems anything is possible on "American Horror Story: Asylum." So far, the dark saga includes a serial killer, adventurous honeymooners, criminally insane patients, aliens, bloodthirsty creatures, nuns, an angel, something claiming to be the devil, and a Nazi war criminal. Oh, and it looks like an evil Santa Claus is coming to Briarcliff. Whew! The wild plot will undoubtedly become more twisted as Season 2 progresses and connects the 1960s storyline with the present, but the show needs a little lightness before it sends viewers seeking asylum with lighter fare like "Nashville" or "Hot in Cleveland." Although these fanciful Hollywood connections are unlikely, they have a hint of the unexpected humor that made Season 1 so enthralling.

1. "That'll do, pig, that'll do."

In "Babe," James Cromwell memorably uttered five little words to express the stoic farmer's love for the cute piggy. Dr. Arden could transform that sweet phrase into something demented simply by uttering it to one of his disfigured subjects. It is fitting, funny, and chilling without leaving the searing mental pain of watching Bloody Face get his dairy fix and bond with his substitute mommy.

2. "Grey Gardens"

Ryan Murphy's TV realm happens to include two actresses known for their amazing performances as Big Edie and Little Edie. What are the chances? Surely, this time-twisting show is strange enough to find a way to incorporate this serendipitous gift. Jessica Lange can take a brief break from her Boston accent and flash a bit of her Emmy-winning Big Edie from the HBO movie. Adorable Bebe Wood from "The New Normal" can make a guest appearance and use her eerily accurate Little Edie impression to stun viewers.

3. "The Office"

Steve Carell played the inept security officer who chased Evan Peters's character in the 2004 teen movie "Sleepover." In 2010, his role of authority figure reached a new level during an episode of "The Office." Peters played his half-nephew, Luke, whose laziness and mistakes made the Dunder Mifflin staff demand disciplinary action. Carell's character, Michael Scott, somehow took that to mean corporal punishment and spanked Luke in front of the stunned staff. An embarrassed Luke scampered away, sparing Michael from doing the dirty deed of firing his own relative. Carell should visit Briarcliff and pop into Sister Jude's office for a real taste of corporal punishment.

4. "America's Next Top Model"

Tyra Banks celebrates her unique features, but her slender face looked positively extraterrestrial in recent pictures she tweaked with her new Smize app. "American Horror Story: Asylum" should cast her as an alien-human hybrid. She knows how to strike a pretty pose, but she can also deliver "ugly-pretty" and create her own language on the spot. Since Tyra uses her own career exploits to influence the challenges on "America's Next Top Model," next season's cast of model hopefuls can look forward to channeling glamorous steampunk angels of death and honing their wing tooch.

5. "Antiques Roadshow"

Thanks to Bloody Face's craftsmanship and attention to detail, that creepy lamp shade looked great in his snazzy bachelor pad. It was built to last and could survive long enough to become a family heirloom or garage sale fodder in the present time. An eager collector could present it to twin appraisers Leslie and Leigh Keno on "Antiques Roadshow."

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