‘The Bachelor’ Week 5 recap, review: Toddlers and Tierra

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Looks like "The Bachelor" star Sean Lowe is dealing with plenty of preschool-style hijinks this season! But as his 11 remaining girlfriends throw tantrums and tattle in the name of love, one girl seems to be at the center of all of the drama: Tierra, who's the star of this week's show -- and she didn't even get a one-on-one date! What is it about this drama queen that turns the other girls into, well, toddlers?

Also this week, it's time for the girl's to get packing as Chris Harrison informs them that they're about to embark on a worldwide journey for love. First stop: Whitefish, Montana.

One-on-one fun

24-year-old teacher Lindsay nabs the coveted one-on-one date, which includes a helicopter ride (yawn), a visit to Glacier National Park, a fireside chat, and a private concert by country singer Sarah Darling. (Ok, the concert wasn't all that private; the entire town of Whitefish was invited.) It also includes a rose, so yay for Lindsay, who was smart enough to keep her poofy wedding dress at home this week.

Lumberjack attack

Sean's girls don't play well in groups, but there's no way around it on a group date that includes a team relay race to win more time with the hunky "Bachelor" star. That means it's time for canoeing, hay bucking, wood chopping, and goat milking. Desiree will apparently do anything to win more time with Sean, and that includes chugging warm goat's milk. Her team (red) takes the win, which means the blue team (AshLee, Catherine, Lesley, and Daniella) get prematurely sent back to the lodge.

The giddy red team (which also includes Selma, Sarah, and Robyn) are psyched for more time with "The Bachelor," but here's the thing: Nice guy Sean feels really bad about sending the losing team away. This is his journey for love, after all. What if his future wife is on the blue team? He gives Chris Harrison something to do and sends the eager host off to retrieve the losing team and invite them to the after-party.

If you think the red team is angry about this rule bending, imagine the shock of this week's two-on-one date participants, Jackie and Tierra. These two know their date comes with the stipulation that one of them will definitely be sent home at the end of the night. Tierra's not having it, so she dons a blue plaid shirt and crashes Sean's party right behind the team of relay losers. It's a quick highjacking to make sure Sean is on the same page as she's on before the next day's two-on-one, but it's an effective move nonetheless.

Back at the party, the red team is fuming, and the mini tantrums begin.

Robyn: "We won. What do we get out of it? Time with Sean. Well, they get time with Sean, too!" (Think that's not fair? Don't even ask how Des feels after drinking warm goat's milk for love!)

But the kicker in this supersize group date comes when Sean gives the lone rose to Daniella. Yeah, she wasn't even on the winning relay team. Ouch.

Two-on-one tattling

It's time for more Tierra, but this time the ginger-haired Jackie is along for the ride on a two-on-one date that starts on horseback.

"Jackie doesn't know that she's on a date with me and my husband," Tierra gloats. It's true, Jackie does seem like a third wheel; her horse is really lagging. So what does the 25-year-old cosmetics consultant do with her teensy bit of alone time with Sean? She starts tattling about Tierra's motives.

"I would hate for you to fall in love with somebody who's not their true self," she says, before proceeding to tell him that Tierra is a flirt and was ogling some cute guy at the airport.

Sean takes it all in, but in the end, he sends Jackie home and keeps Tierra, who wisely chose her private time to talk about the serious reasons behind her relationship fears.

As for Jackie's demise, when are these girls going to learn that snitching never works? (Just ask Kacie B., who was sent packing two weeks ago for the very same reason.)

Flash forward to the next night, and Tierra is at the center of the drama again. This time Sean catches her in a heated tag team confrontation with Robyn and Lesley. Tierra is sick of being picked on and seethes: "If I want to go get engaged, I'll go get engaged. There are plenty of (bleeping) guys in the world!"

Too bad Sean misses that sound bite, but he does poll the other girls on what exactly their beef with Tierrable T is. No one can give him anything more than "she's very cold" or "she's not engaging."

Rose ceremony time, and Sean is looking somber. He doles out his paltry half dozen roses, then sends Robyn to the naughty chair.

"What was he thinking? He sent me home over Tierra?" Robyn cries during her limo ride home. "He probably thinks I'm starting drama, but I didn't do anything!"

Oh well, it looks like Sean found a way to give her a permanent time out anyway!

The next episode of "The Bachelor" Season 17 airs on Tuesday 2/5 at 9 PM ET on ABC.

More from this contributor:

"The Bachelor" Season 17: Meet Sean Lowe's wild and wacky women

Everything you need to know about 'Bachelor' star Sean Lowe

'The Bachelorette' wedding: What you didn't see on TV

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