Castle Recap: Live Together, Diamond Alone

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Castle Recap
This week on ABC’s Castle, Rick and Kate investigated the death of a relationship guru — while navigating a relationship issue of their own.

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THE CASE | I was digging this mystery until the final act, and then the wheels just fell off of it. In “short”: Alice Clark, a relationship guru to the rich and famous, is found dead, both her car and office ransacked by a professional fixer named Hawke. Clues also reveal that Alice was planning a getaway, and in the meantime was anonymously holing up in a hotel — along with a big ol’ diamond.

Ryan and Esposito bring the gem to an expert, who observes that it is flawless and worth a good $60 million. Then, after RySpo nearly get killed for the bauble by an SUV full of gun-toting clowns, the expert further reports that the diamond is man-made, which is quite impossible for its size, and thus renders it priceless.

Here I must pause before I type, because the case fell apart into a blurry mess. OK, so Alice’s boyfriend Matt is really named Leo (a nod to this Matt who is a Leo???), and they met in South Africa amid much blood-diamond bloodshed. Or something. Leo grew determined to neuter the violent cartels, and to that end gleaned that Alice’s client Steve Warner had the technology to manufacture flawless diamonds. So, Leo mugged the Warners to grab the gem as proof, and when Steve’s wife Janet went to retrieve it from Alice, a waved-around gun went off, leaving Alice dead….?

Yeah, anytime you introduce fictional technology as the crux of a storyline, and somewhat randomly so, my eyes glaze over. Moving on….

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THE CASKETT | As glimpsed first at TVLine, the hour more or less opened with Kate awake in Rick’s bed, being stared down (or so she felt) by “Linus,” the lion print hanging on his bedroom wall. Since she likes to feel relaxed when staying over, maybe he could… move it? Rick notes that Linus was bought with his first royalty check, and stands as his “totem” in his “lair.” But, Kate posits, isn’t it our lair now? Rick later, but quite unsuccessfully, tries to turn the tables by “wanting” to rid Kate’s desk of some  figurines — to which she shrugs, “If you don’t like the elephants, I don’t like the elephants.” At episode’s end (Wait, no Pi? No Alexis??), Rick surprises Kate with a switcheroo, having replaced Linus with a sculpture made of the seashells they collected during her first visit to his Hamptons home. Amid so much memorabilia of his stories throughout the loft, “That’s our story,” he notes. And Kate likes. (As Andrew Marlowe told us, this was a small first step in the larger discussion of living arrangements, though it was at least made clear that Kate still has her place.)

THE QUOTABLES | Pretty much just this one: “…and if you want to be invited into my territory again, you should probably rethink that.” Rethink, man! Though it was also fun to hear Espo ruminate about him and Ryan possibly making a run for the border. Also, must be said: Tory sightings! She’s got skillz. (And I think Beckett enjoys her, too; I saw looks.) I also want to make this critique, and this comes from [see headline above] the king of groan-worthy wordplay: They need to dial down Castle’s puns by one-per-episode. Because when you need to drive it home in a scene that Rick was actually embarrassed by a quip (“the fixer is in a fix”), you’re treading into Horatio Caine territory.

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Gotta say, though, looking forward to next episode. It looks quite dark, and a bit freaky with the “doppelgangers.” And I know there’s at least one good twist involved that I haven’t really seen spoiled out there… yet.

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