Desperate Housewives' Dirty Laundry: Bree Van de Kamp's Wild Ride

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Marcia Cross | Photo Credits: Danny Feld/ABC
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Marcia Cross | Photo Credits: Danny Feld/ABC

Desperate Housewives wraps its eight-season run on Sunday, May 13 (9/8c on ABC) and what a long, strange trip it's been for the ladies of Wisteria Lane! As we prepare to kiss our favorite harried housewives goodbye, TVGuide.com takes a look back at each of the four protagonists' biggest triumphs, greatest downfalls and all the juicy hookups, makeups and breakups in between.

Check back every day this week for our takes on the other Housewives' wild rides.

Name: Bree Van de Kamp (formerly Hodge)
Known For: Perfect manners, conservative values, cooking skills, firearms skills, alcoholism
Marriages: Rex Van de Kamp (widowed), Orson Hodge (divorced)
Children: Andrew and Danielle (one additional faked pregnancy, to cover for the birth of Danielle's son, Benjamin)
Professions: Homemaker, former caterer, former cookbook author

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HIGH POINTS

She always had the recipe for the perfect bran muffin, but Bree's (Marcia Cross) perfectionist ways were a recipe for disaster at home. At the start, her suffocated husband, Rex (Steven Culp), wanted a divorce and her kids pretty much hated her guts. However, Martha Stewart 2.0 went to great lengths to keep her family intact, like when she concealed her son's drunken hit-and-run (R.I.P., Mama Solis!) and when she participated in S&M sex with Rex so he would stop running to the town prostitute (Sharon Lawrence).

However, Bree could only keep things together for so long. After she engaged in a brief fling with her unhinged pharmacist George (Roger Bart), George slipped Rex the wrong meds and killed him, framing Bree in the process. Still, Bree actually accepted George's marriage proposal, but when his homicidal urges came to light again, she broke things off and very pointedly did not intervene when George committed suicide by pills.

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Bree found love again in Season 3 when she met and married Orson Hodge (Kyle MacLachlan). His crazy ex-wife, Alma (Valerie Mahaffey) , and mistress-murdering mother (Dixie Carter) threatened their union, but when Orson admitted he had run down Mike Delfino with his car to suppress a secret years earlier, Bree left. Orson went to jail for the crime and, after the five-year time jump, the two reconciled. Orson eventually became resentful of his wife's success and developed a case of spontaneous kleptomania. Bree almost divorced Orson — and in the process had a steamy affair with her divorce lawyer, Susan's ex-husband, Karl (Richard Burgi) — but she and Orson reconciled again... for a while. Orson moved out for good at the end of Season 6.

Orson's departure was at least partially to blame on the emergence of Rex's long-lost son, Sam (Sam Page), who blackmailed Bree into turning over her company to him when she tried to fire him. Before Sam, Bree's most delicious rivalry was with fellow homemaker extraordinare Katherine Mayfair (Dana Delany). The tornado in Season 4 brought them together and the women started a catering company together.

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LOW POINTS

Bree struggled with alcoholism throughout the show, beginning in Season 2, due in part to her extremely tempestuous children. Andrew (Shawn Pyfrom), whose homosexuality Bree refused to accept in Season 1, tried to blackmail his mother for his trust fund and falsely accused Bree of hitting him. She threw him out shortly afterward, but the two made up and enjoyed a surprisingly touching relationship. Meanwhile, Danielle's (Joy Lauren) promiscuous ways led to a dangerous relationship with Matthew Applewhite (Mehcad Brooks) and Danielle getting knocked up, which Bree concealed by pretending to be pregnant herself.

After her split from Orson, the show had a hard time finding Bree a worthy companion. First, she dated her much-younger contractor, Keith (Brian Austin Green), with whom she had little in common but explosive sexual chemistry. Bree then dated Chuck (Jonathan Cake), a local cop. But when he started investigating the murder of Gaby's abusive stepfather (which Bree helped cover up), they split — to Chuck's chagrin.

Orson tried to win Bree back by killing Chuck (man, Orson loves his hit-and-runs), but she turned him down when she discovered that he had been stalking her. To retaliate, Orson sent evidence to the police that incriminated her in Alejandro's murder and she was subsequently arrested. Bree then fell for her charismatic lawyer, Trip Weston (Scott Bakula), despite his liberal, NRA-hating ways.

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HOW WE THINK IT WILL END

To sum it up: Bree can't go to jail because she needs to marry Trip. She deserves a happy romantic ending after enduring the most hellacious romantic history on the Lane.

Desperate Housewives' series finale airs Sunday, May 13 at 9/8c on ABC.


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