Devious Maids Season Premiere Recap: Bridges of Beverly Hills — Plus: Bonus Scoop

Like a Pine Sol-scented beacon in the cold, dark night, Lifetime’s Devious Maids returned for its second season Sunday with new maids, new men and a twisted new mystery.

RELATED | Devious Maids EP Previews Marisol’s ‘Dark’ New Life and More Season 2 Scoop

Let’s start with Marisol, whose life has done a complete 180 since last season ended. Not only is she now engaged to the dashing Nicholas Deering — seriously, the man was chiseled from marble — but it seems she also has a devious maid of her own, one who’s hellbent on getting rid of her.

But here’s the question: Is Opal jealous of Marisol, or does she actually want to help her avoid the fate of Nicholas’ ex-wife, whom he (sort of) pushed off a bridge?

While we ponder that, let’s see how the other maids are faring…

WET & WILD |

Will absence make Remi and Valentina’s hearts grow fonder? Here’s hoping, because while Remi’s still in Africa — I refuse to address the beard he was sporting in that FaceTime chat — another suitor is waiting in the wings to sweep Valentina off her feet. Enter Ethan, the Delatour’s new pool boy man, who couldn’t be any less subtle in his desire to jump her bones.

Man drama aside, Valentina is still furious with Zoila, so she’s moving out and taking a job with… wait for it… the Powells! I hope Valentina doesn’t end up dead like Flora, but at least she’ll have Ethan to fish her corpse out of the pool. (Bonus Scoop: Executive producer Sabrina Wind tells TVLine that Valentina will have a much more pleasant relationship with Adrian than Flora did. Her “innocence” will remain in tact.)

SCARED SHIRTLESS | Speaking of the Powells, Evelyn and Adrian’s home has basically become a mad house. Ever since one of their dinner parties was interrupted by an armed robbery — at least the burglars were nice enough to enter through the front door – Adrian has been a shaky little lamb, and Evelyn doesn’t know what to do with him. To make matters more complicated, she’s got a hunky — and rarely fully clothed — new bodyguard named Tony, whom she also doesn’t know what to do with… besides drool, of course. (Bonus Scoop: Wind tells TVLine that Adrian will remain on pins and needles for the first half of the season with very interesting results.)

THE PRICE OF FAME | Meanwhile, Carmen is learning that the life of a celebrity beard isn’t as glamorous as she dreamt it would be. Sure, there are parties and red carpets and hoards of fans screaming her name, but when she returns home… Poof! Her Cinderella story is over. Odessa refuses to wait on her, since she’s only publicly pretending to be Alejandro’s girlfriend, which eventually creates so much tension that Odessa threatens to quit. Obviously this is bad news for Carmen, who thought she’d hung up her gloves forever, but it’s also a bummer for the audience. Their budding friendship was one of my favorite parts of Season 1, and I’m hoping it hasn’t been squashed beyond repair.

OH, BABY | Lastly, all is not rosy for Rosie. Though she managed to stave off deportation for six months, Peri will prove to be a bigger problem for her than INS ever was. She’ll do anything to keep her man, including announce a fake pregnancy, which is all Rosie needs to feel guilty and back away from Spence. Of course, there’s one little problem in Peri’s plan: How the hell is she going to get pregnant?! (Bonus Scoop: Wind tells TVLine that the baby drama will come to a head, “pun-intended” sooner than you might think.)

What’s your favorite new Devious Maids storyline? And what’s really going on with Marisol’s new maid? Rate the premiere below, then drop a comment with your review.

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