True Blood Recap: Love at First Bite

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It's Official: True Blood End Date Set, Season 7 Will Be Sookie's Swan Song
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It's Official: True Blood End Date Set, Season 7 Will Be Sookie's Swan Song

Since neither you, I nor anyone else believed for a nanosecond that True Blood was gonna kill off Sookie, nobody’s gonna get the vapors when they read that no, her father does not succeed in drowning her in this week’s episode, “Don’t You Feel Me?” But what may come as a surprise (not a vapors-worthy surprise, but a surprise nonetheless) is the identity of her savior.

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HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO | Though Billith senses that Sookie is in danger (even emitting one of his patented “Suhkies” in response), he can’t wait until nightfall to ride to the rescue, so he dispatches daywalker Warlow to the scene. After Papa Stackhouse is sent packing by a magical fairy ball and a stern talking-to, Sookie spirits away Warlow to fairy land, lest Billith succeed in summoning him back (using the vomit-and-writhe method that Jessica so disliked). In the netherworld, Warlow spins a lovely tale about how, if he and Sookie got together, he could stop, you know, eating people. She’s still iffy about becoming a vampire, but she apparently likes what she hears – so much so that she lets her suitor du jour bite her (just a nibble), bites him (ew! She doesn’t even have fangs!) and then, living up to her rep as a “danger whore,” screws him while he’s tied to a rock to ensure that he doesn’t lose control and bleed her dry. Ah, romance!

AND NOW THE END IS NEAR | Meanwhile, at vamp camp, Eric and Pam survive their fight to the (true) death just fine, thank you very much. (Whew!) But the Governor is still hell-bent on making Eric pay for turning his daughter, so he injects Nora with a fatal dose of hepatitis V. (Would it be wrong to say “hurrah” here? What if I say it very quietly?) Later, Eric summons Willa to help him escape so that he can get Nora outta there. (Wait, that dose was supposed to be fatal… die! Die already!) Before they split, Willa wants to spring Jessica and Tara as well. “I guess,” says Eric in the same tone that most kids use when asked if they wanna give Aunt Bertha a big kiss.

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DAY JOB | When Billith realizes that Jessica is MIA, he summons Lilith to get the 411 on how he can save her. Unfortunately, the mother of all vamps doesn’t take kindly to being used as a supernatural Google. (She even has to scold him for giving her attitude. The idea!) Luckily, Billith is able to connect the dots between Lilith’s reference to “the tyrant” and a newscast about Louisiana’s new deal with the makers of Tru Blood, and deduce that the Governor has Jessica. In no time, Billith has downed a vial of Warlow’s fae blood and beheaded the politician. Which, in retrospect, doesn’t save Jessica at all, does it, Billith?

OUR MAN ON THE INSIDE | Of course, Billith, Eric, Willa and Nora aren’t the only fangers out to spring Jessica from vamp camp – Jason wants to save her, too. But as soon as Sarah discovers that he’s infiltrated the LAVTF, she sets out to make him regret it… by forcing him to watch his ex have sex with another vampire. (Mind you, Jess doesn’t have to go through with it: Her would-be partner, James, withstands UV blast after UV blast rather than be turned into a rapist.)

TRAGIC KINGDOM | While Holly comes up with a brilliant way to make Terry forget his troubles – have a vamp glamour them away! – the solution comes too late: His old buddy shoots him dead the next day! (RIP, Terry. You will be missed. For the love of God, is Nora still not dead? Come on!) Even sadder, Andy names his daughter, No. 4, Adelynn Braylyn Charlaine Dannica. (Still better than the name Sookie. But not much better.) And, after Sam returns Emma to Martha (with the proviso that they stay away from the pack), Alcide decides that, in spite of his roid rage, he’ll let the shifter and Nicole live (so long as they remain out of sniffing range). Is it too late to renegotiate the part about letting Nicole live?

Okay, your turn. What did you think of the episode? Brothers & Sisters’ Luke Grimes made a great first impression as James, I thought. But it’s gonna be a while before I get over Terry’s death. (Was he not the sweetest character on the whole show?) Did you see the twist coming that the Governor was only interested in jump-starting Tru Blood production so that he could poison all vampirekind with hep V? And what did you make of the big light that radiated off of Sookie and Warlow when they sealed the deal? Did they make a fairy baby? (Or, if Andy’s history with faebies is any indication, a whole litter of them?) Hit the comments.


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